Page 43 of The Lady and the Footballer
“You give me too much credit.”
“I think not enough,” she said, her eyes crinkling in the corners as she dropped her gaze to their joined hands.
He desperately wanted to kiss her, and when she lifted her head toward him, he could tell by the way she tilted her head, her lips parting, her eyes meeting his, that she wouldn’t turn him away.
But he didn’t want to take advantage of her vulnerability after he had only just rescued her from Lord Nathaniel minutes before.
“What is it that you need?” he murmured. “What would make you happy?”
Her eyes widened as she bit her lip. “I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before,” she said, her fingers tightening around his. “You know, the truth is, I have been searching for happiness for some time. I know it’s ridiculous, for so many people would give anything to be in my place, but I have never felt content just sitting and waiting for life to happen to me. I do not fit with those of my station. I do not have the same dreams. I have always felt that I should be doing something else and require more purpose. This work with the club, as minimal as it is, and as much as my parents are only trying to show me that work only makes my life harder, is the one thing that has brought purpose to my day.”
“There is nothing wrong with speaking your truth.”
“I also…” She swallowed, dipping her chin, and he lifted their joined hands, using his index finger to tip it back up again.
“You also what?”
“I have also always wanted to find love. I know that sounds ridiculous, for so many marry for other reasons, but I have seen it before. In Emmaline’s parents and some people working in themill. In the books I read, as fanciful as that sounds. I want that for my life. How sad would it be to miss out on that?”
“So sad,” he murmured, mesmerized by her eyes, her face, the slope of her lips, the curve of her shoulders. “So very, very sad.”
He couldn’t have said who moved first. All he knew was that he was no longer thinking about what he should or shouldn’t do, what was right or what was wrong. Whether he was acting too quickly or not quickly enough.
His lips met hers, soft yet desperate, as the world disappeared. The coldness of the room no longer mattered, nor did the altercation with Lord Nathaniel.
All that mattered was her mouth, soft and warm beneath his, her sigh melding into him as he pulled her closer, finally releasing their hands only for one to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking the delicate skin as he marveled how perfectly she fit into his arms, as though she was always meant to be there.
The kiss deepened, and Colin lost himself in the taste of her, the feel of her. He had never experienced anything like this before, this sense of rightness, of belonging, that there was nowhere else that he was supposed to be, no one else he was supposed to be with. He had been waiting his entire life for this moment, not knowing just how perfect it would be once it finally arrived.
He explored her mouth with his tongue, reveling in how she responded to him, feeling her soft, nearly inaudible moans. Her hands gripped his shoulders, her fingertips digging into him, providing him both pleasure and pain, the heat of her body joining with his as she pressed flush against him.
Colin could have stayed in this freezing room kissing her for the rest of the afternoon or evening or whatever part of the day it was – he had lost track of time the moment he had seen her across the room, completely consuming his every bit of focus.
But chatter from outside the door and the clanging of dishes finally brought him back to the moment — the moment and their reality.
He would ignore that for now. He had already indulged in this kiss. He might as well make the most of it now.
They finally broke apart, both breathing heavily. Colin rested his forehead against hers. He didn't want to let her go; he didn't want this moment to end.
“That was…” he started, unable to find the words to describe what had happened between them.
But he didn’t need to – for she understood.
She smiled up at him, her eyes shining. "I know," she said softly. "I feel it too."
Colin let his shields down, finally admitting the truth to himself. He was tired of pretending that he didn’t want her, that there was nothing between them, that she could never be attracted to him.
He wanted her with unmatched desire – and it was apparent she felt the same.
The problem was, there was nothing he could do about it. Their worlds were so far apart it was nearly laughable, her family controlling the fortunes of his and so many others just like him. Her father might have protected her from Lord Nathaniel, but he most certainly would never allow her to even consider a future with a man like him – a millworker with half an education who just happened to have a talent for football.
He had to make her understand how foolish this was. If he couldn’t follow his own common sense, perhaps she was smart enough to understand the truth of the matter.
“Lily,” he said, taking her hands once more. “As much as I… I want this, more than I could possibly explain, this cannot happen. You know that as much as I do.”
Her expression hardened, as she shielded herself. “Because you do not want it to? Or because it is easier to deny what is between us than to try to continue?”
“It’s not that,” he said, stepping backward, needing distance, for if he stayed so close, kept her hands in his, he might give in and say or do something that would only bring about more pain. “You and I are from different worlds. There is no future for us.”
