Page 65 of Lady of Charade
“So my parents would like to believe,” David responded, “Though I have told both of them, as well as Lady Georgina, that my heart belongs with another.”
“Good for you, lad,” the Earl said quietly. “I wish I had done the same.”
“Yes, well, the problem is, I don’t think Sarah has any wish to have me due to what she believes to be the truth,” David said. “I’m not sure if it is best to let her go, or convince her to stay here.”
“My choice — even if that choice at the time was to remain hesitant, caught between two worlds — was the wrong one,” said Torrington, looking down at the table for a moment before returning his eyes to David. “Whatever you do, son, follow your heart. If you love your Miss Jones and you think she feels the same for you, then do what you can to hold onto her. Convince her of your love. You’ll both be the better for it and you’ll have a much happier life — one you will enjoy to the fullest. Do not make the same mistake I did, Redmond. Promise me that.”
David stared at him for a moment, at the regret that filled the man’s face, and he nodded.
“I will be in touch,” David said, and then turned and walked away with new resolve.
His mind swirled with the words of both the father and daughter. Sarah had pushed him away, it was true, but he was beginning to realize just how much of that was hurt, rather than the anger she had projected. And as for the Earl… well, David knew he would likely be in much the same situation. He was fairly sure his father would never accept him marrying a woman like Sarah, who lacked a fine pedigree, but David found that he no longer cared. Sarah was worth giving up all for — any financial gain from his father, acceptance from his parents, or a place in society.
The most important thing now was to make Sarah believe in him and his promises.
She was so determined to return to America, but David was unsure if it was the land itself calling her back, or if it was more a matter of a desire to leave England and all that it had held for her.
If it was the latter, he must convince her otherwise. If it was the former… well, he must be willing to leave all and return with her. Could he do it? He, a man who had questioned the thought of giving up even other women for just one alone. He shook his head as he chuckled to himself. Could one woman change him that much?
Yes, he realized. Yes, she absolutely could.
David hurried out of White’s, nearly running to his carriage in his rush to leave James Street and make his way to Cheapside as quickly as possible. He knew Sarah planned to leave soon, but surely not immediately — she had said her ship was leaving in a few days, and she would need time to prepare, would she not? She was a woman alone so it wouldn’t take long, not like the weeks it seemed to take his family to prepare to leave for the country, but still, it would take some time.
He tapped his fingers on his knees during his entire journey to Sarah’s rooms, impatient. Perhaps he should get out and run — maybe he would get there faster. David felt a fool. All that he had known deep within him had surfaced upon hearing Torrington’s revelations. Torrington had lost the woman he loved because he hadn’t been able to make a choice. David was well aware that he might lose all as well — but now he was willing to risk it, for even if he did, the exchange would be well worth it.
He had the door of the carriage open before it even came to a full stop, and the wheels had just finished turning when he was running up the walkway to Sarah’s rooms. He knocked on the door but didn’t wait for her to answer before he turned the handle, bursting into the room — only to find it completely empty. David’s heart seemed to fall out of his chest as he looked around the barren room, the room in which so much had happened between them over just a few weeks.
He closed his eyes as he remembered the night he had awoken in Sarah’s bed as she administered to his wounds, the many nights spent with a sore back from sleeping on the floor as he stood guard over Sarah’s door, and the night they had first made love.
A sensation of warmth began to tickle David’s eye, and he was astonished when he reached up to find a tear beginning to leak out of it. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried — he must have been a child. Well, he wasn’t going to cry now. He was going to find Sarah, tell her of her father, of his own love for her, and his resolve to do whatever it might take to be with her.
He just had to find her first.
CHAPTER28
It was interesting, Sarah mused, and rather ironic, that she had come all this way to find a connection, only to discover the truth that family was not so much blood, but the people for whom you come to care. In some cases, that could be true relatives, for she and her mother had shared a bond as close as she ever had with any other person.
But then other times, family was the people you created it with. She thought of the people in her village at home, her neighbors in Cheapside, and the three women with whom she had become closer friends than she had ever thought possible. They were all part of her family — much more so than the Earl and Countess of Torrington, or her aunt, all who had proven to be malicious, who wanted nothing of her within their lives.
She thanked the driver of the hack who had conveyed her to port, where she would board a small steamship that would take her out of London to Plymouth. From there, she would board a larger ship that would return her home to Baltimore. She hadn’t been sure she would be able to afford it, but upon arriving back at her rooms after her visit with Lady Alexander and her aunt, she had found within her pockets enough pound notes to comfortably pay for her passage home. Lady Alexander must have tucked it in the pocket within her skirts, Sarah realized. At first, she had been determined to return it to the woman, but she had to admit the temptation to use it to return was far too great, and she had ended up spending it on the ticket, though she vowed to one day repay it, even if she had to send it all the way across the Atlantic.
Sarah didn’t think she had ever felt smaller than the moment she stepped out of the hack with her one worn bag and looked at the rows of ships lining the port. She had done the same in New York for the voyage here, of course, but then she had been filled with hope and the belief that she was coming to find the man who had sired her, who had loved her mother more than one could imagine.
Now, she knew the truth.
Sarah had to ask for directions, but eventually, she was directed to a small ship with two masts. The captain himself greeted her as she climbed aboard, and she looked around to ensure that she was not the sole passenger.
“Yer the first to arrive,” he said in answer to her inquiring gaze around her. “You have some time to wait still, but you get first pick of berth.”
She nodded, thanked him, and then went down to claim one of the bunks before returning to the deck. The ship was clean, though small and rather run-down, but she hadn’t wanted to waste much money on the first leg of her journey. She had found the first ship she could at a reasonable rate that would take her out of London, and the captain seemed affable enough, at the very least.
Sarah had known she would be early, but hadn’t cared — she had needed to leave London as soon as she could. She was well aware that her experiences here would always be deeply ingrained in her memory, but at the same time the faster she could leave it all behind, the better.
She refused to think of David — of all that they had shared, all that she felt for him, the love that beat within her heart for him that she didn’t think would ever die. How she was to live without him now, she had no idea, but she had a far better chance of doing so halfway around the world than if he were simply a carriage ride away.
She looked out over the port, seeing London stretch in the distance. One thing was for certain — she was looking forward to leaving this city behind, to feel the fresh, open air on her face once more. They simply had to leave this dock. And then she would be free.
* * *
