Page 53 of Lady of Charade
“I never told him about you,” he cut in, walking back over to stand closer to the bed. “I asked him only if he knew of your mother. I told him that your mother and I had a mutual acquaintance.”
“And he believed that? He never questioned how you, the son of an earl, might know my mother, a healer from a village?”
“No, he said not a thing about it,” David replied. “I think he was too overcome, to be honest with you. It seemed to me that he remembers your mother with a great deal of fondness.”
Sarah could hear the incredulity in his tone as he said it, and uninvited bitterness began to rise within her.
“You did not think it possible that he actually felt anything for my mother, did you?” she asked, her voice soft instead of accusatory, sad that he would think such a thing, for if that was the case, then clearly the “care” he had for her was nothing more than what she had always assumed it to be.
“I don’t know Sarah. I suppose I always had my doubts,” he said with an exhale, and she cringed inwardly. He was not even aware of how alike the two situations were. “The story of your mother leaving… I have heard such tales before, however, usually the woman was forced out of the household, instead of leaving of her own accord. This is the world in which I was raised.”
“So you thought that my mother was sent away by the family, and then she told me a different story, one in which my father loved her?”
“It’s not like that,” he said, frustration underlying his words. “I wasn’t sure what to think. But I was of the mind that either way, your mother would have told you the same story. What mother would tell her child that she hadn’t been wanted, hadn’t been loved by one of her parents?”
It seemed as though Sarah was floating away from her body as her limbs were like lead, her consciousness outside of herself. This was what she had been waiting for so long, and yet now that she was aware of all she had been searching for, it was overwhelming her in waves.
“Look, Sarah, I am sorry if that seemed rather heartless. I did not mean it to be that way. The truth is, your mother must have been a wonderful woman, for she raised you, and I’ve never met someone who has a kinder, lovelier heart than you.”
Sarah heard David’s words, but it was difficult to listen to exactly what he was saying. She pulled the blankets closer to her chest, as though if she hid away within them, she would forget all else.
“I think… I think I’m going to go to sleep,” was all she said, and then suddenly David was over top of her, leaning against the bed.
“Are you all right?” he asked, and she could just make out the dim outline of his eyes in the dark.
“I’m fine,” she said, turning away from him. She had no wish for him to see how affected she was, by both his words as well as the news he had shared. “We can discuss all of this further in the morning?”
“Very well,” he said, though he remained by her side for a moment longer. “Goodnight, Sarah.”
She said nothing but stared at the wall for a long while until she finally fell into an exhausted sleep.
CHAPTER23
When David had imagined returning to Sarah and sharing the news of all he had discovered, the scene had certainly played out much differently than the reality. In his mind, he would share his news, she would fall into his arms with gratefulness, and then together they would celebrate completing her mission, and he would take her to see the Earl, where the father and daughter would be reunited while David looked on with satisfaction.
What he had not anticipated was blundering the delivery, accidentally insulting her mother, and listening to Sarah’s detached response.
David was aware that Sarah was hurting and upset, though he had no idea for what reason, nor what he was supposed to do to help her. When it came to women, there were certain areas in which he was quite skilled — and proud of it. However, in others, such as a woman in tears, he was most decidedly at a loss.
He wished he could tell Sarah that everything would be fine, but unfortunately, that could prove to be a lie. For while Torrington may very well still hold a penchant in his heart for Mary Jones, in no way did that mean he would be open to the return of a daughter of whom he had never been aware.
And so it was that David found himself facing a sleepless night once more on the hard floor of Sarah’s lodgings. What made it worse was that he could hear her uneven breathing, knew that she was restless herself, and yet it seemed that despite their proximity she could have been miles away from him.
He must have fallen asleep briefly at some point in time, for the next morning when he groggily awoke, he could already hear noises behind him telling him that Sarah was awake. He rose from his blankets, folded them carefully, and then waited for her to emerge from behind the privacy screen.
She was clearly engrossed in her thoughts as she stopped, startled when she saw him.
“Forget that I was here?” he asked with a forced grin to attempt to ease the tension from last night, and she self-consciously shook her head as she reached behind her to finish tying the muslin dress she wore. David had noted that she wore dresses of which the ties or buttons were large enough and easy enough to reach herself. She must have had them modified, for most dresses he was familiar with required a legion of maids — or some very deft fingers — to remove them.
“I’m sorry. I am distracted.”
“Understandably,” he nodded. “I can hardly imagine what you must be feeling at the moment.”
They seemed like the proper words. He had attempted to determine his best response as he lay there, not sleeping, throughout the night.
“I suppose I am simply overwhelmed,” she said, managing a small, clearly forced smile.
“Sarah,” he said, “Whenever you would like to reach out to Lord Torrington, please tell me and I will arrange for us to meet him. Would you prefer it to be soon?”
