Page 51 of Lady of Charade
“Listen, Hartley,” he said. “I need to speak with Lady Georgina. Can you arrange it? Without our parents?”
“You’re not planning any sort of secret liaison?” Hartley asked, narrowing his eyes, and David shook his head.
“Not at all. In fact, the exact opposite,” he said. “I have no wish for her to be misled — by me or my family. I must tell her the truth of my feelings before this is taken too far.”
“Very well,” Hartley said with a shrug. “I’ll send you a note once I have spoken with her. Good luck with your woman, Redmond.”
“Thank you,” David said, nodding. “I believe I do require it.”
CHAPTER22
Sarah was long in bed by the time she heard the door to her chamber finally creak open. She had wondered if David was going to come. He hadn’t said a word to her since they had left the Berkley estate. She had sat within the carriage with the other women. This time Lady Alexander accompanied them, so the conversation was rather stilted and the ride felt interminably long.
David had approached the carriage when they reached Lady Alexander’s home in London, where she disembarked, but Sarah had seen the look that Lady Alexander sent his way, which halted his footsteps. The truth was, however, this was becoming rather ridiculous, his protection of her. How long did he plan to continue it for? At some point, there would have to be a stop to this charade. She felt like a bit of a harlot, allowing him to come to her bed when she knew that there was little chance of a future together. But she didn’t seem to have it within her to push him away.
“Sarah?” She heard him say her name, just above a whisper, and she thought of feigning sleep once more, but that would have been the cowardly escape.
“I’m awake,” she said, her voice echoing through the room. Only embers remained in the grate, so once David shut the door it was difficult to make him out in the dim light.
He came over and sat on the edge of the bed, though he made no move to reach out to her, for which she was grateful.
“Where have you been?” she asked to break the silence, but then quickly realized just how her words sounded. “Not that you need to explain yourself to me,” she added in a rush. “I was only wondering. Curious. Creating conversation.”
Since when had she not been able to put together a sentence?
“I, ah…” When he paused, her heart sunk. He had been with another woman. She should have expected it. She never should have imagined anything else. They had never declared themselves for one another, so why should he not seek out another? She had hoped that their time together would mean more, but— “I was at The Red Lion.”
“I see.”
“No, Sarah, you don’t. It’s not what you think. I didn’t go there for other women or anything like that.”
Sarah nodded, despite the fact he couldn’t see her in the dark. Perhaps it was for the best he had been there. Perhaps now was the time to have the conversation that had long been awaiting them.
“It’s understandable if you had,” she said softly, not wanting him to know just how much it would actually hurt her. She had no wish to appear vulnerable to him, nor to anyone else.
“Why would I need to take another woman?” he asked, puzzlement filling his voice.
“It is not as though we are promised to one another,” she said, attempting to keep her voice practical. “And I will be leaving soon, so there is no reason to tie yourself to me.”
“Sarah,” his voice came out softly, near to a whisper. “Must you truly go?”
“When we were at Berkley’s estate, I had the chance to go walking in the woods, to breathe in the fresh air around me. It’s certainly different than home, but it reminded me of how alive I feel when I am outside of the city, away from all the poison that is in the air and within so many people. Not that there are not good people within London, for there certainly are, but it seems that danger is rife around every corner, no matter whether one is within a Mayfair ballroom or on a corner of St. Giles.”
“Please tell me that you have never walked around St. Giles alone.”
She didn’t answer his question, for she knew he wouldn’t like the answer — but she hadn’t been about to turn away from someone in need just because they lived in the wrong part of London.
“Ah, Sarah, you will be the undoing of me,” he said, and she nearly laughed at the despair in his voice, except for the fact that she wished it to be anything but true.
“I cannot remain here indefinitely. It would torture my soul, break my spirit.”
Would she stay for him, if he asked her? Possibly. The thought tore her in half, but she couldn’t deny that the thought of leaving him was as heartbreaking as the thought of remaining in London for the rest of her life.
But besides that, he didn’t ask. She knew he wasn’t a man that desired any type of settling down.
“Sarah…” he began, and she wanted to stop him, to tell him not to waste any words upon her, and yet she sensed that he had to say whatever it was that was building inside of him. “You know that you… mean much to me, do you not?”
She smiled, a sad smile, glad he couldn’t see her face in the dark.
