Page 38 of Lady of Charade
She paused, deep in thought, until Julia nudged her with a gentle, “But…”
“But then I woke up the next morning. He was readying himself for the day. I looked over at him and thought, ‘This is not my life. This will never be my life, waking up in the morning with a man such as David Redmond.’ And therefore what I had just not only allowed to occur but had asked for could not have been a worse decision, for all it did was cause my attachment to him to grow even deeper.”
They were all silent for a moment, contemplating her dilemma, until at last, Elizabeth broke the silence, shocking them all with her words.
“Are you sure it has to be that way — that the two of you might not find a way to be together?”
At their three incredulous faces, she shrugged.
“I am capable of having a heart, you know,” Elizabeth said, raising an eyebrow. “And I am well aware that people can change. I would never before have suggested that Sarah and Mr. Redmond pursue a greater acquaintance, however… I could have been wrong.”
“No,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “His father is an earl. I am illegitimate.”
“Eddie and I made it work,” Julia said softly.
“This is different,” Sarah said resolutely. “Besides that, once my quest is over — either through resolution or by my own choosing — I will be returning to America.”
“Oh, please say that isn’t true,” said Phoebe with a hand on her arm.
But Sarah shook her head. “I must go back. It’s where I belong.”
The words now resonated within her mind as she placed her small valise within the extravagant guest room. She had been telling herself for some time that there was nowhere else for her but America. So why did the words no longer feel altogether true?
CHAPTER17
David was determined to find time alone with Sarah — particularly before Lady Alexander arrived to join them. How he was going to do so, however, he had no idea, for she was always so closely surrounded by the three other women.
They were all wonderful women, of course, but at the moment he wished they were anywhere but here.
He knew he was acting like a young lad in the first blushes of love in the way he had to convince himself not to stare at her throughout dinner. Afterward, as he and the other gentlemen shared a cigar and a glass of port as they enjoyed their last night in some solitude before the house party would expand, he had to force himself to concentrate on what the rest of them were speaking of as his thoughts continued to drift back toward Sarah, their night together, and what type of future could await them — if any.
He sighed as the gentlemen then moved to the drawing room. It was an impressive estate, each room painted in a different, rich color, with inlaid gold tying the various rooms together. Gold picture frames and accents were interspersed everywhere from the furniture to the crown molding.
And yet he would be just as happy to be back in Sarah’s small lodging, as long as it would mean the two of them could have some time alone. He should have woken her up one night this week to speak further. But every time he was tempted to do so, she always looked so perfect that he couldn’t bring himself to wake her from sleep. He attempted to catch her attention throughout her current conversation in order to speak with her, but she refused to look at him, purposefully seeming to avoid him. Which left him alone, unsatisfied, and completely awake later that night.
After tossing around for what seemed like hours, he decided he could no longer simply lie there staring into the darkness of night. David finally threw back the covers and made his way down the grand staircase, walking on his toes so as not to make a sound and wake the rest of the house. Where he was going, he had no idea, but he felt trapped within his chamber. He was so used to coming and going from his own boarding room whenever he pleased at whatever time of day or night that he was feeling altogether restless at the thought of staying in one place, particularly when the woman he needed to speak with so very badly was sleeping somewhere within this estate.
The truth was if he knew where exactly she was, he would have no qualms about searching for her and speaking to her within her rooms. But with his luck, he would find himself in the bedroom of another and would spend the rest of the weekend here apologizing.
Following along the corridor, David looked within one room and then the next of the ground floor, holding his candle out in front of him to determine each room’s contents. When he finally came across the room he was looking for, he entered the library to search the shelves for something that would put him to sleep.
It wasn’t the largest library he had ever seen, but the shelves were tall, and when he found his way amongst them, he was pleased to see that some of the titles were of interest — one about Captain Cook’s voyages, and there was Henry Fielding’sTom Jones,though he had read it before. The key was to find something that was interesting, but not interesting enough to keep him awake throughout the night. He wondered what Berkley would say were he to go through all of the candles provided to his chamber in one night.
David set his lantern upon one of the shelves above him, where it cast enough light but was not near enough to any books that it may catch them aflame, and he began to wander further down the bookshelves.
David ran his finger over a few titles, struggling now in the dimmer light to make out what they read. He pulled one out for a better look, but not finding anything of interest, he flicked his gaze back up to the shelf in order to return it to its place. But what he saw nearly made his heart stop. For it was another pair of eyes peering back at him.
* * *
Sarah wasn’tsure what roused her from sleep. In fact, as she began to return to consciousness, she became aware of the ache in her back, the crick in her neck, and the chill that had entered her bones.
Where was she?
She looked around her at the darkness, the furniture only slightly illuminated by the moonlight filtering in through the windows. Ah, yes. She was in the library at the Marquess of Berkley’s estate. Unable to sleep, she had left her room and began to wander, only to find herself in here. Lord Berkley had an interesting array of books, and Sarah had been delighted to discover a volume on the foliage to be found within the area.
The information, however, was primarily relegated to characteristics that would identify such flora and fauna and their scent — which Sarah did not find particularly helpful, and soon enough she was asleep in her chair, her candle, she now realized, melted to nothing beside her. When she had initially entered the room, a warm fire had remained in the hearth, but it had now fallen to near embers.
Her senses came suddenly alert as she realized she was not alone. She heard the fall of a footstep somewhere within the room, and a flicker of light caught her eye from amongst the shelves. She knew she was being foolish, that she should just call out, but instead, she began to tiptoe across the room to determine just who had joined her.
