Page 15 of Lady of Charade
“My mother has passed,” she said quietly. “I have no siblings of whom I am aware. Lady Alexander has been kind, but she is unable to provide me any more support than she already does.”
“I am sorry to hear of your mother,” he said quietly. “What of your father?”
Sarah took a breath. She hadn’t intended to tell him of this, and in fact, she still hesitated to do so. But she had never been the type of person to whom dishonesty came naturally, and she was growing tired of living a lie. What was the worst that could happen now — she would be found out and have to return home to America? She was on the verge of doing so anyway.
Somehow, despite his reputation, she had a feeling that she could trust David Redmond. She was keeping his secret — he must do the same for her. Perhaps he could even help. Although if Elizabeth’s husband hadn’t been able to provide any assistance, she wasn’t sure anymore if there was any who could. She took a breath.
“My father is a lord,” she said, then bit her lip. “I just don’t know which one.”
“Pardon me?” he said, his eyebrows rising in surprise.
“I don’t know who my father is,” she said without meeting his eyes, but then forced herself to lift them. She had no reason to be ashamed — her mother had always been sure to tell her of that. It was not as though Sarah had asked to be born to a woman alone in the world. Which she certainly wasn’t. Sarah was proud of her mother and all that she had accomplished, despite the circumstances she had found herself in.
“I received a letter suggesting that I should find him, telling me that he was an English lord. I hesitated, but in the end, decided to do what I could to find him. Not because I want anything from him. I just… felt a need to know who he is.”
She sighed, bringing a hand to her temple. “It’s been a long search now, and I feel that I am no closer than I ever have been to finding him.”
Mr. Redmond simply stared at her as though she had told him she came from another world — which, she supposed, she did.
“Please, Mr. Redmond, I beg of you — do not tell anyone else of this?” she asked. “I am invited to society events due to my association with Lady Alexander. Most assume, as you did, that I am a member of her family, and while I have never outright lied, I am ashamed to say that I have allowed the untruth to continue. However, I know not what else to do for if all knew the truth I would no longer be invited to the very events where my father might be found.”
He slowly nodded and cleared his throat.
“I must say, this is certainly the revelation,” he marveled. “Clarence knows all of this, does he not?”
“Most of it,” she said, then looked at him more shrewdly, wondering how much Elizabeth’s husband had shared with him, if he was truly as surprised as he acted upon her confessions.
“Well, then, you have the best man on your side, that is for certain,” he said. “I have never seen Clarence fail in anything.”
That bolstered her spirits, though Sarah refused to raise her hopes. In all honesty, she was beginning to feel more than homesick — for America, yes, but also for the opportunity to live in nature once more, to be surrounded by the fields and forests where she could forage for the very things that allowed her to aid others. She missed being awakened by the birds seeming to call her name, by the sun streaming in from a window that was left open to the natural light and views outside her window. None of that could be found in London, and certainly not anywhere near her rooms. She was fortunate that she had made wonderful friends, but beyond that, she had no idea how her stay here would have been bearable.
Not that she was going to tell Mr. Redmond any of that. She had shared enough.
“You are here, then — alone?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her, the expression one that could have been suggestive, had she not known better.
“I am,” she said warily.
“Cheapside may not be the most dangerous of neighborhoods,” he said slowly, as though he were contemplating her situation quite seriously. “But it still concerns me to think of you here by yourself, particularly when you will open your door to seemingly anyone.”
“I knew who you were!”
“Yes, but did you know it was me at first?”
When she said nothing, he continued.
“You did not. What if I was feigning sleep, and then rolled over to take you by knifepoint once you opened your door to me? What then? No, you cannot continue to stay here alone.”
Sarah crossed her arms over her chest. Who did he think he was, that he could make proclamations about what she could and couldn’t do?
“While I appreciate your concern, I do as I please, Mr. Redmond.”
“So I am supposed to walk out that door, return to my own home, and forget that you are here alone, at risk? I think not.”
He was becoming as angry as she, though why, she had no idea.
“I have been just fine for the past nearly three years, and I will continue to be fine in the future.”
He was shaking his head. “I have heard of many midwives and the like who have been taken advantage of. I will not allow that to happen to you.”
