“My mother is at home, wearing her disapproving face, while my father is likely somewhere ahead in the procession.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Dismissing propriety, then, are we Elizabeth?”
“While I typically find that it is far better to do what is expected, to live one’s life within the rules of society, there is also, at times, the occasion to break with convention and do what is necessary.”
“Such as your friends, who have found themselves in rather… interesting situations lately,” he said, being very aware of the recent actions of two of her closest companions. “Perhaps the results of their experiences have convinced you that propriety is not always best.”
“They have been lucky,” she said primly. “I still believe it cannot be so for everyone.”
“That’s a rather gloomy way to look at it.”
“Yes, well, experience has taught me so.”
Silence stretched between them for a moment, and he marveled at the fact that despite she had recently been attacked, she hadn’t lost any composure, nor her headstrong attitude.
“Elizabeth—”
“I do not believe you have leave to call me by my given name,Your Grace.”
“Oh, you gave me leave to do so in the past.” As he remembered just exactly what that past had included, a rush of heat flooded his body. A rush he hadn’t felt in some time, was he being honest. On that night, which remained burned in his memory, Elizabeth had been nothing like the cold, proper woman she was today. Oh, no — Gabriel knew a side of her that no one else did, a side that was hot, wild, and passionate.
“That was the past — a mistake,” she said, and he could tell she was no longer looking at him, but at a corner of the carriage. “What are you doing in here, anyway? It certainly isn’t at all proper for us to be alone together like this.”
“What do you think I will do?” he asked, crossing his arms and leaning back into the squabs as he grinned, “Take your innocence?”
He could tell it wasn’t the response she had been expecting, but she straightened as her gaze returned to him.
“It’s a little late for that, do you not think?”
Gabriel said nothing, as he could hear the pain in her voice. No longer was she teasing and taunting him — she was speaking from her heart, and he was well aware that he had done it a disservice five years ago. He had regretted his actions for longer than she knew. Not all that had occurred between them, but the part that had made her feel as though she wasn’t worthy of the love of one man.
“Elizabeth… I know I acted more than dishonorably all those years ago, and I do offer you my sincerest apologies, as I should have done long ago. Oh, I know I said I was sorry, but over time, I have come to understand just how wrong my actions were.”
“We both became carried away that night, when we… when we… made love.”
Make love. What a way to describe it — not how he typically thought of the act, but it certainly had been different with Elizabeth.
“I am aware of that,” he said softly. “We were young and full of romantic thoughts, were we not? I would have married you, Elizabeth. I told you I would.”
She snorted. “I had no desire to be married to a man who would take a string of mistresses. In fact, I am glad that I found you in the arms of Lady Pomfret. For had I not, then I likelywouldhave married you and lived a disastrously unhappy life. In fact, I should thank her one of these days.”
Gabriel swallowed hard, saying nothing. He did not enjoy being wrong. In fact, he was proud of the fact that he hardly ever was. But in this, she was altogether correct. He had been a fool, and youth was no excuse.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, but she didn’t respond, apparently done with their conversation. In truth, he had no wish to speak of it any longer either, but she did deserve his apology.
He could still clearly remember nearly every moment of the night they had come together. She had just had her come out, while he was a couple of years older. He had been attending events long enough to know that women were eager for the attention of a future duke, though young enough that he did not yet understand what repercussions could come from flirtations — or more — with unwed young women of theton. Elizabeth had caught his eye the moment she walked into Lord Holderness’ ballroom that evening.
She stood out, for she was tall for a woman, but it was more than that. She carried herself with a confidence most women lacked, so self-assured, so composed. She was beautiful in a classic sense, though not particularly striking, not like the woman with midnight black hair who accompanied her, nor the little blonde pixie nymph beside her. But she was graceful and elegant — something about her captivated him. Then she had turned and when those violet eyes had met his, the room could have been held up at gunpoint and he wouldn’t have been able to look away. It took a moment for him to realize she was the daughter of the Viscount Shannon — a girl he had known in her youth, for their countryside summer homes had been quite close to one another. But gone was the awkward, bookish little girl. In her place was a woman — one he wanted to get to know better, beyond the few teasing words they had exchanged when they were but children. That night they had danced, spoken easy words to one another, and then a walk in the gardens had turned into so much more when they had found a cushioned bench within a gazebo.
He could still remember the way the moon and stars had illuminated her fine cheekbones. Gabriel hadn’t meant to take things as far as they did. But when she had asked, it hadn’t been within him to say no. He had meant to do right by her — had courted her properly afterward, and had nearly proposed, despite the fact he wasn’t ready to wed — but then she found out that he had allowed his eye to wander. He had been such an idiot.
“It may have been both of our decisions, but I should have known better, and I should have done right — truly right by you,” he said softly now as he stared out the window, realizing they were nearing the church. “Elizabeth… I’m also very sorry about your grandfather. He was a good man, one I was pleased to come to know over the years through my dealings with your family and with the bank.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly, though to which apology she was referring, he wasn’t entirely sure.
CHAPTER5
Thankfully the remainder of the evening had been uneventful. Elizabeth hadn’t been surprised to see that the church was filled with people paying their respects to her grandfather. He had been a well-liked, respected man, and his clients ranged from the wealthy and powerful to those whose sums may have been small, but to them, they were fortunes nonetheless. Elizabeth recognized many of those who sat at the front of the church in their finery, while others near the back may have been less well-dressed, but perhaps more sincere in their grief. Thomas had treated them all equally.