Page 21 of Lady of Providence
Elizabeth nodded, hoping they were done with discussing her life, but then she caught Sarah looking at her with pursed lips.
“There is something you are not telling us,” Sarah said at Elizabeth’s returned stare.
“I’ve told you all,” Elizabeth said, picking up her teacup and taking a sip while she attempted to meet Sarah’s eye, though she couldn’t help but allow her gaze to wander behind her at the pale golden walls where they met the white wainscotting, and the watercolors of every flower in England hanging above them between portraits of ancestors. It would not be Elizabeth’s choice of decor, but her grandmother had painted many of the still lifes and landscapes herself, which meant that they would likely remain on the walls indefinitely, for Elizabeth could never bring herself to remove them.
“I don’t think so,” said Sarah resolutely. “There is more. More to do with how you feel about something — or someone.”
Elizabeth placed her teacup on her lap.
“There is no one.”
“Aha!” Julia said with a bit of a grin. “That means for certain there is. Who have you even had time to see lately?”
“No one at all,” Elizabeth said crisply, though she could feel warmth in her cheeks and knew they were likely turning very bright pink.
“Bank partners and clients,” Phoebe said shrewdly, and at that, Julia turned toward her with widened eyes.
“The Duke of Clarence!” she exclaimed, and Elizabeth shook her head, despite the fact her cheeks felt as though they were now flaming red.
“I have seen him, yes,” she said in an attempt to dissuade their interest. “But I feel nothing for him.”
“After seeing the two of you together in Newmarket, I can certainly say that you feelsomething,” said Julia. “Whether you feel hatred or anger or frustration, I am not sure, but I have never seen you act the same around another as you did with him — that you cannot deny.”
“That may be true,” Elizabeth said with a shrug. “I do despise him, and I have a good reason for it.”
They all stared at her, clearly waiting to hear just what, exactly, that reason was.
She sighed, realizing that she could not put it off any longer — she had to share the story with these women, who had shared everything with her.
“Very well,” she said, clenching her fingers in her lap so that she didn’t tap them distractedly on the table. “Gab— the Duke and I, were young. I was only eighteen, having just had my come-out, he a couple of years older. Our parents were friends, through my father’s side, and when we were children, we had known one another. We were reacquainted one night at a party. We… well, we had some type of instant attraction to one another that I never knew was possible. At the time, in my youthful innocence, I thought it was love at first sight, but I know now it waslustat first sight. We danced, we flirted, we talked about anything and everything. He was the first gentleman who had ever seemed to actually care about my opinion on anything that mattered. We went for a walk in the gardens, having drunk a great deal of champagne and, well…”
She trailed off, though she was well aware of just how intently the three women were staring at her.
“Well,what?” demanded Phoebe.
“We happened upon a gazebo, and our attraction for one another became more than an attraction, which, regretfully, we acted upon. I cannot say that he took advantage of me — I asked him for it all, and he complied. Anyway,” she hurried along past that part, for she could see that she had completely shocked three women who were far from likely to allow much to shock them. “He began to court me, and eventually offered to marry me. He only did so because he knew it was the right thing to do. In the meantime, it didn’t stop him from having additionalrelationshipswith other women. When I found out, having quite literally walked into a situation in which he was with one of his other acquaintances, I called it all off and told him to never speak to me again. He complied — until Newmarket.”
Even speaking of it once more caused Elizabeth to tremor with anger, hurt, and frustration that the man she had thought she loved quite obviously did not love her in return. How could he have loved her and then treated her so? It was unfathomable. It had been the ultimate betrayal — for him to take up with another woman, especially at a public event, where any and all could have seen him. Not only had he cared nothing for how she felt, but he had cared equally as little for his own reputation. No, Gabriel Lockridge had revealed through his actions exactly what he thought of her, and she refused to give into him again.
Phoebe was the first to regain her wits and asked a logical question.
“But how did he receive his partnership in the bank, then?”
Elizabeth nodded. This, she had no trouble answering. “Once it became obvious that he and I were going to enter into marital bliss, my grandfather Clarke wanted to come to know him better. The two of them enjoyed the company of one another, and became unlikely but fast friends. Thinking the Duke was going to become my husband, when a share in the bank came open, Grandpapa asked if he would be interested. Gab— the Duke said he was, but I’m not sure whether or not he was just being polite. He didn’t take much interest in the bank’s affairs until this past meeting, and even then he just sat there like a frog on a log throughout the meeting.”
“But you still care for him,” Sarah said, and Elizabeth turned to look at her, incredulous.
“I certainly do not,” she said, holding her nose high in the air.
“Then why does your face take on that expression when you speak of him?”
“What expression?”
“The one in which your eyes slightly soften and yet your mouth hardens — as though you are trying to deny what you feel.”
“That is ridiculous,” Elizabeth said. “Am I still attracted to him? Of course I am. I will always be attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be?”
“I wasn’t,” Julia said with a shrug, and Elizabeth tilted her head to look at her with a bit of an eye-roll.
