Page 65 of Hearts Adrift
“No.” He rubs at his jaw, as if trying to scrub the guilt off. “Not … not exactly.”
I fold my arms over my chest. “For fuck’s sake, Theo, what did you do?”
“It wasn’t me. It was my stupid f-fucking boyfriend.”
I laugh, sharp and humorless. “Your boyfriend?”
“Ex,” he corrects with a bite. “As of this morning. And yeah, I didn’t know what he’d done until it was too late. He must’ve been stalking you, I don’t know for how long.” He slowly starts pacing. “I thought he was just letting me vent about you. I’ll admit, I … had a difficult time getting over our breakup. I was a mess. I know I didn’t seem that way when we last spoke, but … but I kept it in. He let me vent to him every night, hours at a time. I … just didn’t know he was keeping tabs.” He stops. “On you.”
“So that’s your big revelation?” I ask. It’s difficult to keep my voice down. My blood pressure rises so quickly in his presence—not for the fun reasons. “You got yourself a psycho minion for a boyfriend?”
“Ex.”
“And he wandered here to Dreamwood on his own and snapped shots of me leaving my family’s bungalow? Then later in Cottonwood Cove? Did he snap any other shots of me I should be worried about, climbing up to my bedroom window while I’m asleep? I don’t sleep naked anymore, by the way, so his shots would be depressingly PG …”
“No. I took his phone away. Deleted everything, every last pic.” He’s suddenly on the verge of tears. “He told me he wanted to see ‘the guy I wouldn’t shut up about’. I had no idea what he was doing until this morning when he … hebraggedthat he helped ‘us’ get even.” He chokes. “I … I ended it. Immediately. But I should’ve seen it coming. I am not blameless. I didn’trealize I’d been talking about you so much. I thought I was just moving on. Processing it all. But … guess I was keeping you alive in his head, too.”
I can’t take another second. “How do you expect me to believe this isn’t one of your own schemes?” I fire back at him. “Blaming some imaginary pretend ex-boyfriend when in fact it was you who took the pics, spooking me, toying with me, then selling them to the media for a buck?”
“I can’t prove it to you. I don’t expect you to believe me, either, and honestly, it doesn’t matter whether you do or not. I’m not here to … to win you back, Finn.” His face tightens, holding back his tears. “I’m here to do whatever I can to make this right.”
“It can’t be ‘made right’, Theo. Do you realize that my family is now dragged into this? The Hopewell Harbor and Fair? And just when we were on the fuckingedgeof going under—”
“Wait, going under??”
“—now this shit has been dumped on us, staining our reputation forever. And you don’t even know the full truth about River and what he’s been going through. And now? No one will care. All they see him as is a horn-dog who ran off to an island to fuck some easy, unsuspecting idiot on a beach. Me,” I say, jabbing a finger into my chest. “I am the idiot. You mademethe world’s biggest fucking idiot.”
“F-Finn,” whimpers Theo, trying not to break down.
I get away from him, unable to be in this cramped-as-fuck space a second longer. I push out of the storage room into the back hallway of the club itself. Though ironically I haven’t come here as a customer since the days of Theo—not really the club-goer—I know my way around. At this hour, no one’s here except for the owner Luke and one or two workers preparing for tonight. Despite the doors being unlocked, I know this venue is safe from the mobs outside.
“What’re you looking for?” asks Theo after following me tothe back of the bar.
“Charger.” I rummage underneath the counter where I know stuff gets shoved away. “Need to call Brooke.”
“Use my phone.”
“Like hell.” I’m being petty and I know it. “I need to make sure she’s okay. Heather and my dad probably know everything by now. All the shit is hitting every fan and Ihatethat I’m not there with my sister to address it.”
“I can call her.” He already has his phone out. “Let me call her and—”
I come right up to him. “You aren’t part of our family anymore,” I snap. “Stop pretending like you are. You and me areover.”
“I know. I’m not trying to pull anything. Finn, I really mean it, I was just …” I’ve already gone back to searching behind the bar. Theo stands there at the other end, watching me. “I should’ve been more responsible with my feelings. I was lost after we broke up, but … I never once thought we should get back together. I knew we weren’t working. And I know it even more now. I kept trying to be someone I was not, for years and years. Wanting to impress you. And your sisters. And your dad.”
“Well, Heather’s still your #1 fan, so there’s that.”
“I know. And I don’t deserve it.” He really lays on the self-deprecation thick, doesn’t he? “I should’ve just been myself around you. I just … I just never figured out what exactly that was.” He sighs. “Maybe I still haven’t.”
“Plenty of time to figure it out,” I say reassuringly. “As in, the rest of your life. Which I won’t be a part of.”
“I know. I get it now. We’re better apart.”
“That begs the question why you’re still fucking here.”
He grows still. “My whole identity was always ‘Finn’s boyfriend’ since I can remember, nothing else … I wasn’t even me, not even Theo, just Finn’s other half. Never knew who I wasoutside ofus… I felt like … like a planet … adrift in space … nothing to orbit … just … adrift …”
“Forgive me if I’m not dripping in sympathy for you.”
