Page 75 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
When my thoughts are finally clear, my resolve hardened, I leave my phone on top of Brody’s sweatshirt and go upstairs to pack.
Chapter Twenty-One
Brody
It is after elevena.m. when I finally hear from Kate.
At first, I didn’t worry. We were up early yesterday. I couldn’t fault her a desire to sleep in. But as the morning stretched toward noon, I began to wonder.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told her.
Maybe I should have waited.
Maybe asking her to breakfast, suggesting we talk was too forward. Too fast.
But none of that matters now.
I read her text one more time, trying to make sense of what she’s telling me.
Kate: Last night was a mistake, Brody. I want to be who you need, but I’m not sure I can ever be the person you deserve. And I love you too much to ruin our friendship by trying to be.
I’m staring at my phone when a second message pops up.
Kate: I’m headed to London for my interview. I hope we can talk soon.
Her interview.
With everything that’s happened, I completely forgot she was leaving for London today.
I’ve gotten very good at the mental gymnastics necessary to keep myself from dwelling on what a future with Kate might look like. But when I woke up this morning to the orange-blossom scent of her hair, her body still pressed against mine, I finally stopped fighting. I closed my eyes and let the thoughts come. And they did—like water rushing through the dam at Lake Summit. A wedding on the farm. Buying a house together. Starting alifetogether. Then ordinary stuff like shopping for groceries. Going on hikes. Planting a garden. I saw us raising a family. Taking the kids up to the farm to ride on the tractor or feed the goats or eat strawberries straight off the plant. I even thought of ways I might adjust my schedule so we could spend summers traveling or living in Europe so Kate could be closer to the parts of the world she’s written about most.
Five minutes ago, I thought I would fix her breakfast, tell her I’m in love with her, and ask her to stay.
And now she’s gone.
I run a hand through my hair. I have made a colossal mistake.
Monumental.
An earth-shattering, soul-splitting mistake.
Because even if I never see Kate again, she has ruined me for anyone else.
I should have agreed when she said she shouldn’t come with me to Robbinsville. I should have arranged for Griffin to do her second kayaking lesson. I should have avoided her. Avoidedthis.
I pace around my kitchen feeling like a bomb about to explode. Perry warned me this would happen, and it didn’t even take all summer. Kate’s only been around a month, and I’m already here, desperate for her, overwhelmed by the reality of her leaving, furious that she won’t stay. That she won’t—
Choose me.
I grab the keys to the Gator and push out my back door. I take off down the narrow path that leads to the farm, driving fast enough that I can hear my mother’s voice scolding me in my head. When I reach the farm, I keep driving, flying past the farmhouse and out toward the orchards. When I hit the east pasture, I cut right and head into the forest, winding through the trees until I reach the spring-fed creek we used to swim in as kids. But even this doesn’t feel like an escape. Kate swam here, too. Everywhere I turn, there’s something that reminds me of her.
I need to find my brothers. At least one of them is probably around somewhere.
I turn the Gator around and head toward Lennox’s restaurant. Or,almostrestaurant. Renovations still aren’t finished, but Lennox is there most of the time anyway.
I pull to a stop right outside the back door. Would he be here on a Sunday morning? As far as I know, he’s still living at Perry’s place. If he isn’t here, would he be there?
Before I can question further, Lennox appears in the back doorway of the restaurant. He’s barefoot and shirtless, wearing a pair of sweatpants and eating a bowl of cereal. His hair is sticking up in so many directions, I have to assume he’s only been awake a matter of minutes.
