Page 43 of Fury
Fuck, it explains so much, but now my head is fucked because guilt is filling me.
“I don’t hate. I told you I could never hate you,” I choke before I lean up and cup her cheek, wiping away her tears. “I fucking love you, Skylar,” I confess, “But I need a minute, baby, just a minute to get my head around this, but I need you not to blame yourself. I need you not to make shit up in your head while I take a breather to come to terms with this,” my eyes race betweenhers, “Can you do that for me? Can you give me a minute to breathe without letting your mind wander?”
She sniffles but nods, and I slowly stand before pressing my lips against her forehead, tears stinging my eyes.
Alone she had to go through that,alone.
“I’ll be back soon,” I promise before I move away from her, knowing if I don’t take a minute, I’ll explode, and she doesn’t need that right now.
I grab my cut off her coffee table, leaving my shirt on her delicious body that I had just licked all over only an hour ago, and quickly slip my boots on and look at her one last time. I grab her keys from the bowl that I dropped them in near her front door and walk out, meaning what I said.
I need a breather to try and control my guilt.
“Son?” my dad says as he answers the door, confused. “It’s one in the morning. Are you alright?” he asks, knowing I wouldn’t be picking Tate up this late, and I swallow hard, looking into his eyes, which show concern.
“I didn’t know where else to go,” I admit, and he nods, opening the door wider, Mama coming into view in her night gown, looking at me with worry.
“You come home always when you don’t know where to go, son,” my dad says, and I walk past him and head straight to Mama, who opens her arms wide, not even questioning where my shirt is.
I drop my head to her shoulder as she asks, “Is it Skylar?”
I nod once, and she wraps her arms around me, and my eyes sting again, the urge to bawl like a baby hitting me hard.
“She lost my baby,” I admit, and Mama pulls back with wide eyes while Dad rounds us and demands, “Explain!”
I sniff hard as I put my hands on my hips, and I state, “After I ended things for the sake of trying to get my head around thatLacey trapped me, Skylar was in so much pain the stress caused her to have a miscarriage and I-I, I didn’t even know.”
“Did she know she was pregnant when you ended things?” Dad asks while Mama observes me, and I shrug and admit, “I don’t know, I didn’t ask. I told her I needed a breather, and I just, I had to leave before my guilt ate me alive. Fuck, I killed our baby, it’s why she couldn’t speak to me…”
“You didn’t kill your baby, son,” my dad tries, and I shake my head before dropping my chin to my chest.
“Did she have anyone with her? Maybe you could speak to them instead of making her bring it all back up again and pushing you away,” Mama says, and I look at her with wide eyes and reply, “Yeah, her mama,” before I grab my phone.
Mama and Dad wince, but I ignore their reactions and bring up Anna’s number, silently happy Brick’s on a club run tonight.
It rings several times before she croaks, “Fury, someone better be dying!”
I clear my throat and ask, “Did she know?”
“Did who know what?!” she snaps back, clearly agitated that I woke her up, and I flinch and explain, “Did Skylar know she was pregnant when I ended things?”
“Shit, she told you? Where is she?” Anna demands as rustling can be heard, and again, my respect for this woman climbs higher.
I answer, “She’s at her apartment, I just needed a breather before the guilt ate me alive, but I will be returning to her. Please, Mama Lopez, did she know?”
Mama gasps while Dad’s mouth hangs open in shock, and Anna sighs, “No, sweetheart, she didn’t know. I walked into the apartment to hear her screaming and crying before a painful cry echoed. Her shorts were covered in blood,” she clears her throat, “She was eight weeks…”
“The first time we slept together,” I choke as I shake my head, my stomach tightening with guilt and pain.
“You didn’t know, Nyx, it isn’t your fault. You thought you were doing the right thing at the time,” Anna tries, and I scoff, “It doesn’t matter though, Anna, she still lost that baby, our fucking baby who should be four because of me!”
“No!” she snaps back, and my Mama nods, clearly hearing her. Anna growls, “Don’t you dare blame yourself. Yes, I’ll admit, Sky blamed you for a while, and a little part of her still does, but that is only because it was what she needed to do in order not to run back into your life while you were trying to figure out fatherhood. She was stressed with school as well as Melissa demanding money and threatening Brick, along with the brothers trying to get her into their life, something she didn’t want, so don’t you dare blame yourself, this isn’t your fault.”
“She’s right, son,” Dad says, but I shake my head, not believing it.
“Nyx,” Anna says softly, “she told you.”
“Yeah, and I’m dying on the inside and–” I scoff, but she cuts me off and states more clearly, “She told you!”
