Page 84 of The Player Penalty
Jake’s win doesn’t help his total points, but it gives him a nice purse. If he wants to bootstrap himself into team ownership, I’ll cheer him from the sidelines and offer a win when there is no cost to me. They can make better use of that money thanRMS; his sponsors will appreciate the win, and he needs to keep them happy.
I say goodbye and go in search of Lily. She’s coming home with me tonight.
30-Julian
“Do you realize it’s one in the morning?” Lily asks.
“My whole body realizes it.” I set her bag in the bedroom. After a moment’s consideration, I open a dresser drawer, clear the contents, and dump her overnight bag in it. “You should bring over more of your stuff. It’ll be easier.”
“Are you sure?” Lily stares at the overflowing drawer and pulls out a pair of shoes. “These belong on the floor.”
Lily drops the shoes and then grabs a small case. She grips it in her palm and shuffles into the kitchen. I follow after.
“Is something wrong?”
Her morning medication wore off hours ago, but this is a different kind of energy from her. She pulls her hair and glances at me. “I did something last week. It’s a surprise.” She passes over the white plastic case.
“Mints?” I open the case and am greeted by little white pills. My heart skips a beat. “These are birth control pills,” I say, correcting myself, and then swallow. “You’re on the pill.” My mind wanders, thinking of what this means for us. “Wait. What about your medication? Are these safe to mix with your medication? Because I don’t want you doing this if there are side effects.” It’s all true, but I’m secretly thrilled at what this means.
“They’re safe. I checked first.” She takes the case back and hesitates before saying, “We could use them.”
“I’m suddenly wide awake.” I grab Lily’s waist, wanting to guide her back to the bedroom.
She puts a hand over mine. “Wait.” She hesitates again.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. Something obviously is.
“My therapist gave me an assignment.”
“Dr. Lambert?” I ask. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“Not for school. It’s for us.”
My earlier wide-awake comment was a joke, and now it’s true. Alertness courses through me, and I’m no longer capable of going to sleep, despite the late hour. “Let’s go.”
With no protest from Lily this time, I lead her back to the bedroom and pull her onto the bed beside me so we face each other. My hand lands over her hip, and our faces are close enough for me to see the dark flecks in her brown eyes.
“Tell me about your assignment so we can quickly finish it. I want to take your clothes off.”
I kiss her then, keeping it soft, hoping it encourages her to keep talking.
“The pills are for both of us. I’ll need your help to remember them.”
“That’s easy enough.” That can’t be her mysterious assignment.
I patiently wait, knowing she’ll work her way towards it. Some people interpret Lily’s behavior as a pushover, while I’ve learned she’s the opposite. Lily wants to please people she caresabout but stubbornly refuses any act when she decides it’s warranted.
“It means we can go without protection,” she says.
“That’s my favorite part.”
“I want your promise first. If there comes a time we shouldn’t use them, you need to tell me, and I’ll understand. I can be a lot, Julian. If that happens, please tell me.” She rapidly blinks, and her voice fades away towards the end.
I suck in air, but it doesn’t work. In only a few sentences, Lily presented me with a request, an accusation, and her deepest fear. It means she trusts me, a trust I’ve learned she keeps safely tucked away inside her. Her eyes stay on mine, and there’s a courage in them I’ve never seen before.
“How long have you planned this question?” I ask, already suspecting the answer.
“Since the day we became a couple.”
