Page 46 of The Cut
‘Yeah, but … what I didn’t tell you is that … he broke it … his parole. There were strict rules, and he broke them.’ Ben chewed his lip. He was holding something back.
‘Go on.’ Dani wiggled her toe, pressing him.
‘It was ten years ago. Nate was only three and Lily was five … this house wasn’t … I was too busy with work, trying to build this place, to make a home for us all.’ His eyes were filling with tears.
‘Oh, love, that’s who you are, a homemaker. Look at what you’ve created. If Ellie didn’t have the stamina to stay around …’ She placed her hand on his cheek, but Ben gently pulled away.
‘He came here. He was looking for—’ Ben’s voice caught in his throat.
‘Looking for what?’ Dani’s whole body seemed to slowly contract.
‘I don’t know. Looking for trouble? Looking for me? I think he blamed me.’ Ben’s head tilted back, looking to heaven, or was he remembering something else?181
‘He was convicted on overwhelming evidence; the jury was unanimous. It was her blood on his clothes, his DNA on her.’ Dani was emphatic and had done her research. Or at least Wikipedia had.
Ben’s eyes were full to the brim as two huge tears dropped on to his shirt, but his face remained expressionless. ‘She was my girlfriend, she had her whole life ahead of her.’ His voice was wrenched with pain. ‘What would she have become?’ His chin was lifted again, head shaking. ‘I’m sorry, love.’
‘Ben. She was your first love, please don’t apologise. What happened to her happened to you as well. You’ve had to live with that trauma for thirty years.’ Dani wiped a tear from her own cheek.
‘He’d only just been released from prison, and he came here. He was institutionalised, I didn’t recognise him. He was like a wounded animal. He was incoherent, trying to rake up the past. I told him to let sleeping dogs lie. He’d served his time for what he’d done.’ Ben was suddenly incredibly lucid. ‘He freaked out. He became aggressive. It was clear he hadn’t been rehabilitated, he was as violent and as volatile as the night Annie died.’ Ben swallowed hard and ran his hand over his forehead.
It was all starting to make sense to Dani. The sleepless nights, the stress weighing upon Ben’s shoulders. Trying to keep a positive face, while inside he was terrified that Patel would come back and kill again.
‘I’m worried he’ll never go away.’
‘What about his father? He’s always around … Can’t you speak to him?’ Dani folded her arms, hugging herself for comfort.
‘I dunno. Sandeep is like a ghost these days.’ Ben closed his eyes and took a breath.
‘He’s always hanging around at the girls’ football.’ Dani’s militant mind was suddenly razor sharp. ‘I don’t want to use the word182“grooming” but …’ Dani pursed her lips and drained the dregs of her wine. ‘Like father, like son,’ she muttered, reaching for the bottle.
Ben sighed. ‘He’s a broken man, love.’ They were all broken.
‘Well … I always say there’s no smoke without fire.’ Dani was about to go on a rant, but Ben cut her off.
‘He took care of my father at the end of his life. Sandeep is a good man.’ Somewhere at the back of Ben’s mind, he knew that the unconscious racial bias in their community had fuelled the police investigation back then. But the community was different now, the world was different. Wasn’t it? Ben wanted this conversation to be over. He’d turned to Dani for comfort and, as usual, she’d turned it into something else. His voice was calm and quiet. ‘I’ll talk to Sandeep.’ Ben stood up.
‘What … now?’ Dani stared up at Ben in shock and wrapped her cardigan tight around her shoulders, as if Patel was hiding somewhere in the house and she didn’t want to be alone.
‘I’ll just go for a stroll around the village. He’s usually walking that dog of his at night – best time to avoid people.’ Ben turned to leave.
‘I’m sorry about this film thing. Bad timing.’ Dani bit her lip. She’d pushed for the kids to take part and now realised Ben had enough on his plate.
He picked up his keys from the kitchen counter. ‘Put the chain on the door.’ Ben stood on the threshold looking back at Dani. He was struck by how small she seemed.
Dani puffed out through her lips and flicked her hand, shooing the fear away. ‘Pick up a bag of chips from Codswallop. I can’t be bothered to cook.’
After Ben had left, Dani glanced up to the small camera high in the corner of the hallway, trained on the front door. If nothing183else, this house was a fortress. She was beginning to understand why. She slouched towards the kitchen in her bare feet, empty glass in hand, and then stopped. Turning back, she tiptoed to the door, double-locked it and slid the security chain in place.
Ben had no intention of finding Sandeep. His focus was now on Karine Mickelsen.
He stood across the street by the petrol station, in the old part of the village, staring at the lights in the windows of the old thatched pub, the Red Lion. He could hear the chatter of regulars, huddled around the pool table and crowding the bar.
It was just one harmless drink and maybe a casual game of darts. He hesitated, but then what? What exactly did he intend to do?
He crossed the deserted road and headed inside.184
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