Page 47 of The Cut

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33

MARCH 1994

Lynette Davis watches as Annie Maddock steps down from the school bus. Hands are pressed to the window, fingers drawing romantic love hearts and ejaculating penises in the breath on the glass. Annie has been avoiding Ben since the camping trip, but as he stands waiting for her, Lynette lets out a taunting ‘whoop’, effecting a ripple of applause around the jostling kids pushing their way off the bus. All eyes have been on Annie since they got back from the Wales trip. Giggling and whispering behind hands, furtive glances and notes being passed in class. A rumour is going around about Annabel Maddock, or at least Lynette is determined to start one. She’s on the pill. She gave one of the boys a hand job on the bus. She lost her virginity in the woods. Rumours that were nasty and untrue, but once they started, they were like feathers in the wind.

‘Hey, are you avoiding me?’ Ben hops down from the back of the bench by the church. ‘Just ignore them.’ The whistles and jeers begin to disperse along with the crowd of kids heading home.

Annie stops. ‘You weren’t at school today. Everything OK?’ Despite being upset with Ben, she notices a black eye and some small cuts to his face and neck. Dave had been off school too, grounded by his dad, who was apparently livid when he heard about what they had got up to on the trip. Annie pauses for a second. She can’t seem to make eye contact with Ben; it’s hard for her to look at him.

Ben’s fingers tingle and his face grows hot. He hesitates. ‘I called Mrs Bee, she wrote me a sick note. Dad took a turn, he needs186more medication, but the doctor won’t prescribe anything stronger.’ He broke off. ‘It’s as if Dr Patel doesn’t trust me.’ His eyes betraying the fear growing inside.

‘If you need help, my mum said—’

‘I’m good.’ Ben shuts her out, closing that door with a slam. He wants her love, not her pity.

Annie smiles sadly and slings her bag over her shoulder, heading for Forest Hill and home.

‘Mind if I walk with you?’ Ben’s brow furrows. Something odd is happening between them, but neither of them have the understanding or maturity to deal with it. Deep in his gut, Ben knows that he crossed a line. The question is whether to pretend it didn’t happen and carry on as before or address the issue and risk everything.

‘Sorry about what happened on the bus to Wales.’ Ben stares straight ahead with his hands in his pockets.

Annie chews her lip. ‘Not just on the bus … in the woods as well. I was terrified, Ben.’ She hesitates as she stares out at the trees.

‘It was just a bit of fun. What were you talking to Dave about anyway? You two looked like you were getting cosy.’

Annie stops in her tracks and gives him a look.

‘Sorry.’ He sighs.

In Ben’s house, brushing problems under the carpet is the way of life. When his mum got sick, the smiles and voices became faker and brighter. Cheerful outings and walks in parks they’d never been to before became the norm. But making plans and looking forward to things like Christmas became a stumbling block. He’d once come home from school bursting with pride that he had been selected to play for the local football team next season. As the news tumbled out of his mouth, he realised his187mum wouldn’t be around to see any of the matches. She’d smiled all the same and held her hand to his cheek, telling him how proud she was. It was his dad’s turn now. Ben’s carpet had a mountain of unresolved pain brushed underneath.

They walk in silence for a while.

‘We still friends?’ Ben shoulders Annie, who keeps walking but finally makes eye contact with him.

‘Yeah.’

Her shy smile pierces his heart. He really likes her. His whole body swells with a warm tingling feeling. ‘I’m sorry if I …’

‘Lay off the drink, Ben, it doesn’t suit you.’ Annie stops for a second at the crossroads between the primary school and the housing estate that will take her home up Forest Hill towards the Maddock Farm. The flatbed trucks of the travelling fairground are parked up by the gates of the community centre. Bunting is being strung up between the lampposts, festooning the recreation ground with blue and red flags. The fox head emblem of the county rugby team, official sponsors of the Easter Wakes, ripples in the breeze. The end of term is coming; everything is about to change. Ben’s spirits lift a little.

‘We’ll have the whole of the Easter holidays to hang out if you want.’

In the distance, the yapping of anxious dogs from the rescue shelter cuts through the awkward silence between them.

‘I’m good from here.’ Annie waits for Ben to leave.

‘See you around then.’ He turns, head dipped, hands in pockets as he backs away.

Annie watches him walk off with a heavy heart. Sadness shrouds Ben like a dark cloak. His mother gone, his father on his deathbed; if Annie isn’t by his side, then nobody is.188

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MARCH 2024

‘Roll B003 Scene 3 Take 1. End board.’