Page 183 of Crew
"Bren. Come on."
He lifted a hand, but I blocked him, hitting it away. "Stop!"
He fell back, his eyes darkening. He was quiet.
"My dad's in prison because he killed that guy, and he didn't do it because he wanted to. He did it so I wouldn't, because I was going to." I pressed my hands to the sides of my head, shaking from side to side. "I am messed up, Cross. I mean, holy shit. I'm fucked up, and that guy--my dad doing what he did is only half of it. If you had done what you wanted..."
I didn't know if I could finish that sentence. I didn't know if I wanted to put that on him, but it was the truth. My voice cracked. "I don't know if there would've been any coming back for me. If you'd killed him, if you'd gone to prison, I really don't know what I would've done."
I wasn't being dramatic. I wasn't crying. I was just speaking the truth.
Cross knew it. He understood how we needed each other.
I was fast realizing the depths of that--how fucked I would be if he wasn't here.
"You're my anchor," I told him. "You go, I go. It's as simple as that."
He didn't reply, just pulled me back in and wrapped his arms around my neck. Tucking his head right next to mine, he breathed, "It's the same for me."
This was how it was for us.
No pretty words. No happy ending. No lesson learned at the end of it all. It just was. We were us, Cross and Bren, and after we stayed in there for a while longer, he took my hand and led me outside.
It was time to face everyone else.
Taz lost twenty pounds.
Her mouth had been wired for ten weeks, but she swore it was the best diet she'd ever been on. Race doted on her the entire time.
That part of his life was doing well. The rest, not so much.
The Ryerson fall-out was epic, and it happened in almost chronological order.
Race's dad moved to Roussou. Alex's parents divorced. Alex's dad moved out of town. Race's dad moved into Alex's house, to be with Alex's mother.
Race's mom sued Alex's family, and rumor was that most of the divorce settlement actually went to her.
That seemed like good karma, for once.
The two brothers were now mortal enemies.
The only other way to bring everything back around was if Alex's dad stayed and hooked up with Race's mom. The two brothers would've literally switched places.
Taz said the whole thing made her want to drink, which she couldn't because she was still on her meds. And she moaned longingly whenever Tabatha, Sunday, and Monica visited her. "They bring these Kahlua drinks, and I swear they do it to torture me." She sighed dramatically. "They know that's my favorite."
"Keep explaining the Ryersons," I told her. "Race's dad isn't marrying Alex's mom?"
"No." Taz settled back in her bed, her textbooks out in front of her.
We were supposed to be studying.
Taz itched under some of the wiring. She was finally getting it taken off tomorrow. "They're breaking ground between Fallen Crest and Frisco for a new Harley shop."
"So Race's dad is shacking up with Alex's mom?"
It was all confusing and all sorts of wrong.
She nodded. "Yep. It's fucked up. When Alex gets back from rehab, his uncle is going to be a different sort of uncle." She grinned.
