Page 182 of Crew
Cross walked inside. I didn't move.
An hour ago we'd been going to kill Alex. Thirty minutes ago we were racing to save him. And now, I didn't know. I just didn't know. It was all such a whirlwind.
"Hey." He kneeled at my feet, his hands on my legs, and he peered up at me. "Hey." He touched under my chin, raising my gaze to his. "You okay?"
"You were going to kill him."
He nodded. "Yeah. I was."
There was no remorse. He didn't regret it. There was no shame either.
"I would've, if he'd had an attitude, if he'd cussed me out, if he'd tried to fight me. I would've. I knew what I was going to do, and I'm not going to lie to you. I would've pulled that trigger."
"What made you not do it?" I raked my fingers through his hair.
"You." If possible, his eyes smiled at me. They warmed, and love shone through. "When I walked in there, he had no fight in him. He was trying to overdose."
"How do you know?"
He reached behind him and pulled out a folded-up piece of paper. It was wrecked, with blood on it. Cross unfolded it and gave it to me. "He left a note."
I know I have people coming for me, and I didn't mean to hurt her. I swear. An eye for an eye. I'm doing it so you don't have to. Peace out--Alex I looked up, and Cross took the note. Folding it up, he put it back into his pocket. Then he stood. He grabbed my hand, pulling me up, and wrapped his arms around me, tugging me against him.
It was done. For now.
There'd be questions, probably suspicions about why we found him, but there was no evidence either way.
Cross dropped a kiss to my neck. "God, I love you." He laughed a second later, tightening his arms. "You realize we never did the whole 'I love you' moment, right? You said it at Durrant's house."
"I said it because I hoped it would make a difference."
He cupped the back of my neck and leaned away, just enough to see me. "It did. You have no idea how much. It did, Bren." Then he pulled me in, hugging me almost delicately now. I felt him brush his lips against my forehead, and he sighed. "Everything you said, it's the same for me. I'm saying it now. Everything, Bren. You hurt, I hurt. You bleed, I bleed. You smile, I smile. You're happy, I'm happy. It's almost ridiculous how much of you I am. It's been like that for a while. Now it's just official. You and me. We're a we, and I don't want anything to fuck that up. Anything."
I nudged him with my elbow. "Besides what you almost did?"
He paused, then his body relaxed. His head dropped to my shoulder. He peppered some kisses there, his hands slipping to my back, sliding under my shirt. "I might've killed him if you hadn't been there, and if you hadn't said all those words. I just might've." He paused, his lips on my skin. "You might've saved me."
Maybe.
I hoped.
I rested my head against his shoulder, reaching up to run my fingers through his hair.
I'd told him everything. Jordan knew everything.
This was... I didn't know how to feel. My walls were gone. I was exposed, but I didn't feel like freaking out. The opposite.
I felt strong.
"You okay?" He pulled back, asking again. A softness sparked in his eyes, and he rested his forehead to mine, his hands falling to my hips. "You still want to die?"
"I--" I shook my head. "I said all of that, and it didn't matter to you."
He lifted his head, frowning. "Bren?"
"You went in there anyway."
"It wasn't like that."
"It was." I started to pull away. I began to know how I was feeling. I was feeling that rage again, that betrayal again. "I peeled back all of my walls, and nothing. You still walked."
"You think if I'd killed him, I would be gone too. That's not what would've happened."
"You don't understand."
"Bren--"
"You don't!" I snapped, stepping back. "I was going to kill that guy in my bedroom. I was going to do it."
He tried to reach for me, but I twisted out of his reach, backing up until I hit the lockers behind me.
