Page 17 of Guarded
I have my reasons for why I acted as I did. They don’t excuse it, but they exist all the same. You don’t owe me anything, and Satan knows I haven’t done anything to deserve your time, but I’m asking for it anyway.
One hour, Noah. Please give me just one hour to explain myself. If you never want to see me again after that, I’ll leave you alone. You can even sic the murder twins on me if you like.
That had my lips twitching. I’d had to threaten the twins many times since I’d moved in, and turn down their advances even more, but I didn’t doubt they’d avenge me if I asked them to.
I know I hurt you. Believe me when I say that was not my intention. Even if you weren’t my fated mate, I still wouldn’t want to cause you any pain. I like to leave men smiling, not hurting.
My lips thinned. I knew all too well about Jeremiah’s reputation for satisfying his lovers.
For a demon, I’m quite friendly. Just ask Nox. I haven’t stabbed him in several millennia, despite him giving me ample reasons to.
Please, Noah. One hour. You don’t owe me anything, but please. We can do it whenever and wherever you choose, just so long as we’re both there.
I’m sorry.
Jeremiah
My thumb traced over his name as I considered what he was asking. Jeremiah hadn’t behaved brilliantly, but then again, neither had I.
Did that mean I was ready to listen to him? I wasn’t sure. Dealing with my emotions was harder when I was face to face with someone. I was too trusting. Too naïve. A few pretty words and I’d be forgiving all…only to get hurt yet again.
How many times did history need to repeat itself before I finally learned my lesson?
I read the note again. Then again and again, until I had every word memorised. Doing so didn’t bring me any closer to a decision. I folded it with a sigh, putting it under my mattress alongside the rose I’d saved.
It was stupid to hold on to hope that maybe this time would be different. I really should know better.
That was what terrified me the most. That I’d give Jeremiah a chance, only for him to hurt me down the line. My heart was already fractured from what Lyle had put me through. If my fated mate did the same, I wouldn’t ever recover.
Yet I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of the rose or the note.
I’d just finished smoothing down my bedding when there was a knock at the outer door. “Come in.”
I felt Micah cross the wards. I wasn’t surprised it was him. He’d gone out of his way to get to know me better after our…encounterwith Lyle on the beach. I’d revealed much more than I’d intended to that day.
Micah hadn’t judged me for sleeping with the leader of my unit. Not that I’d been expecting that, given his former love for Dimitri. I wasn’t the only one who’d fallen for someone who wouldn’t be mine. At least Dimitri hadn’t strung Micah along. From what I could gather, he hadn’t so much as looked twice at Micah.
Lyle hadn’t kept me at arm’s length for a noble reason like waiting for his fated mate or love for another. No, he just liked to keep his options open.
As well as his bed.
Micah smiled sympathetically as he leaned against the doorjamb. “You doing okay?”
“Yep.”
His eyes went to my bedside table, and then to the hearth. “Bit warm for a fire.”
Micah was my leader, but that didn’t stop me feeling irritated. “Who thought it was a good idea to let him inside my personal quarters?”
“No one.” Micah’s face softened. “None of us would betray your trust like that, Noah. Nox put the flowers in here, as a favour to Jeremiah. I told him it was a stupid idea, but he distracted me by…”
He flushed and I held up a hand to stop him. “Got it. No more details, please. I already walk around half-hard most of the day thanks to all the sex noises filling the house.”
Micah snorted. “Honestly, the nerve of Ez complaining about me and Nox. Him and Sam are ten times worse.”
I dropped into the armchair beside the fire, gesturing to the other one. “Make yourself comfortable.”
He inclined his head in thanks as he took a seat. “I’m sorry if seeing the flowers upset you.”
