Page 16 of Guarded
None of that appealed, so instead I made a beeline for the stairs. I shared the top floor with Rami, both of us with our own suite of rooms. Mine had once belonged to Dimitri, the angel whose spot I’d filled after he’d mated with both a demon and a human. That wasn’t why he’d fallen though; that had happened when he’d crossed the river Styx in Hell.
From what I’d gathered, Dimitri’s absence from the unit had started long before he became a demon. Right around the time he’d found one of his fated mates and realised love was more important than his role in the Seraphim.
It was similar to what I’d done, only I hadn’t left Juniper because my love was returned. I’d left because it was unrequited. Toxic. I hadn’t been living there, I’d been existing, just waiting for Lyle to throw a morsel of attention in my direction, knowing it wouldn’t be enough to sustain me for long.
I let myself into my living room, kicking off my shoes with a sigh. You wouldn’t know Dimitri had ever lived here now. The twins and Rami had helped me redecorate it, turning the whole thing from greys and dark blues to light pastels. Gone were the sturdy and practical chairs, in their place were squashy sofas covered in cushions. A basket of blankets sat beside one of them, piled high ready for a rainy day.
I’d been determined to make this place my home from day one. I may have walked away from everything I’d ever known with Juniper, but it didn’t mean my life was over.
In some ways, it felt like it was just beginning.
Deciding a long soak in my bath was needed, I wandered into my bedroom.
And immediately came to an abrupt halt.
There, on my bedside table, was a bouquet of flowers. A bouquet I’d seen before.
If my blood pressure could rise, I had no doubt that it’d be through the roof. Jeremiah had been in my space. Mypersonalspace.
Which meant one of the unit had let him in.
Betrayal nagged at me. I’d mistakenly thought the Seraphim would have my back. Obviously, someone didn’t. The question was, who? Was it Nox, as Jeremiah’s friend? Or perhaps Micah or Ezekiel? As the most recently mated angels, they had a warped view of romance.
It was alright for them. They’d both found their happy ever afters already.
There was a folded piece of paper propped against the flowers, my name in neat print on the outside. Red filled my vision as I imagined all the empty words it might contain. Or perhaps it would be more of the gaslighting I was all too familiar with.
I’m sorry you misunderstood.
I’m sorry you felt that way.
If you give me a chance, you’ll see that you were wrong.
Nope. Absolutely not. I wasn’t even going to read it.
Grabbing the bouquet and note, I quickly crossed to the empty hearth. It took me a few minutes to get a fire going, but I wasn’t about to ask Nox to light one for me as I usually did. I watched the small flames dancing merrily before tossing the flowers into them.
There. That’s what I think of your efforts, Jeremiah.
But the sense of satisfaction I was expecting didn’t hit.Instead, my chest felt too tight, and the back of my neck was itching. Before I knew what I was doing, I reached into the fire to grab a rose from the top. It was barely singed, just one petal wilted from a flame that had got too close.
I dropped onto my bed and stared at it. Why had I saved it? What was the point?
I didn’t know the answers. Nor did I know why I hadn’t tossed his note on too.
Oh, who was I kidding? I knew exactly why I’d kept the note. I was too fucking curious for my own good. My hands trembled as I opened it to find the same blocky penmanship on the inside.
Noah,
You’re right, flowers aren’t a good start. I was a fucking idiot. Both in how I dealt with discovering you were my mate, and then in how I tried to make it up to you today.
That was for fucking certain. At least he wasn’t trying to gaslight me.
Yet.
You asked me if I knew how it felt to watch my fated mate fly away from me. Well, I can tell you that it fucking sucked. Especially knowing you were upset. No…hurt. Somehow that’s worse.
I bit my lip, questioning whether I’d been right to do that. Had I been any better than Jeremiah in that moment?At least he could blame his actions on panic or some other sensible emotion. Mine had been born of sheer pettiness.
