Page 73 of Guarded
I had no idea what reasons Lyle had given the rest of them for my departure. I hadn’t told them. No, I’d taken the coward’s way out and left Lyle to explain for me.
It was the least he could do, considering it was all his fault.
Atlas knew though. He knew why I couldn’t stay. Being there had been eating me from the inside out.
Just like after the beach though, he’d never reached out. My number had remained blocked. I deserved it, I knew that. I hadn’t just walked away from Lyle, but all of them. If I hadn’t been so fucking weak, I could’ve put Lyle in his place and continued with Juniper.
That hadn’t happened though. I hadn’t been strong enough. Distance was the answer to breaking free of Lyle—I’d been certain of it. But even that hadn’t stopped me ending up in Lyle’s bed one more time. The night before the beach incident, he’d called and invited me over.
And, like the weak fool I was, I’d gone.
He’d fucked me and then kicked me out into the cold night. Just as he had a thousand times before. Unlike the other times though, I didn’t feel shame or heartbreak.
I felt angry. Furious that I was letting him treat me this way.
Seeing him attempt to attack Micah had been the final straw. Something in me snapped, and I knew it would never be repaired.
The scales had been ripped from my eyes, and finally I saw Lyle for exactly what he was.
Power hungry.
Selfish.
Cruel.
I’d been his fool for too long. Never again.
“You okay?” Micah murmured as we shuffled closer to Atlas. “There’s still time to pull out. I can have one of the others here in a couple of hours.”
“I’m fine,” I reassured him. It had taken a lot to convince Micah to allow me to accompany him. Being on the beach with him that day meant he’d had a front-row seat to the shitshow that was the end of me and Lyle. I couldn’t have hidden the truth from him even if I’d wanted to.
And I didn’t want to. There was no Lyle forcing me into silence. No shame or believing I was in the wrong. Just a concerned friend who wanted to know why I was hurting.
I’d opened up to Micah more than the others. I mean, they’d all guessed I’d had my heart broken, that it was the reason why I’d left Juniper, but they didn’t have the twisted backstory. Even Micah didn’t know everything, just enough to give him an idea of the bullshit I’d dealt with. He’d been sympathetic, having gone through something similar with Dimitri, a former member of the Seraphim.
He thought our situations were different because Dimitri had never returned his feelings. That’s where he was wrong.
Lyle had never returned mine either. Not because he’d been in love with another.
He just wasn’t in love with me.
Micah shot me a final worried look before pasting on his diplomat’s smile as we drew level with Atlas. “Atlas. It’s good to see you again.”
Atlas shook his hand, smiling grimly. “In better circumstances this time, too.”
Yes. Because last time Atlas and Rowan had been ordered to capture both Micah and Nox and bring them in.
Orders they’d both refused to follow.
Atlas’s smile faltered as his gaze fell on me. “Noah. I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
My heart sank as I tried to cover my disappointment. “Leaving the unit wasn’t supposed to mean never seeing any of you again.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, you fucker,” he grumbled. “I wouldn’t blame you if you never came back here.”
My jaw dropped, but before I had a chance to respond, he grabbed me in a rough hug. With his mouth close to my ear, he whispered low enough that no one else could hear. “We need to talk. Meet me later. Eleven p.m. at the old church. You know the one.”
I nodded. I did. It was a place where Atlas and I had whiled away many an hour, although our relationship had never been anything other than platonic. Atlas was like my brother.
