Page 72 of Guarded
Don’t do that.
I’m fine. I’m going to fly back in the morning.
I’ll see you tomorrow.
Okay.
Let me know if you change your mind about the date.
I won’t. I’ve missed you.
Missed you so fucking much.
Counting the minutes.
Me too, Jem.
Chapter 19
Noah
To say I was dreading the conference was an understatement. Seeing Lyle, seeing my old home, seeing those I once called family…all of it had me in knots.
I hadn’t lied when I’d told Jem that I’d volunteered to come here with Micah. Despite suspecting my relationship with Juniper had been permanently soured, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to find out once and for all. I was happy with the Seraphim, but Juniper had been my family for six centuries. I missed them. All of them. Except Lyle, of course. The thought of never speaking to them again was abhorrent.
So, I’d volunteered. If I was able to salvage a relationship with them then I’d be thrilled. If not…well, maybe I’d get the closure I needed.
When I arrived, it became clear that something was amiss. Various members of Juniper were there to meet the delegations, but there was one notable exception.
Lyle was nowhere to be seen.
Believe me, I didn’twantto see him. If he never graced my path again for the rest of eternity I’d be nothing butgrateful. But his absence as the leader of Juniper was noticeable. It would’ve been odd if Juniper was just an attending unit.
As the hosts though? It was downright concerning.
I wasn’t the only one who noticed, either. I watched Atlas, Juniper’s second, carefully as we joined the line to be greeted. Arch after arch asked about Lyle, confused as to his whereabouts. To each of them, Atlas gave the same answer.
“He’s been unavoidably detained.”
His careful choice of words didn’t escape me. Atlas’s greatest virtue was his honesty. It was one of the ways Lyle had managed to drive a wedge into our friendship. Atlas couldn’t stand that Lyle kept our ‘relationship’ hidden. Of everyone, Atlas was the only one who’d known what had gone down between our leader and myself.
He was the one who’d wiped my tears away every time I was kicked out of Lyle’s room after sex. The one who’d confronted Lyle, insisting I deserved better than being treated like a shameful secret. The one who’d begged me to stand up for myself.
The one whose friendship I missed the most.
I’d thought it would be hardest to walk away from Lyle, but I’d been wrong. Leaving Atlas had been the worst. Thanks to Lyle, our friendship had been so fractured at that point that I hadn’t expected it to be as difficult as it was.
With time and distance, I could see how much Lyle had taken from me. Not just a piece of my heart, but my friendships. Those I considered my family. Who I’d trained, fought, and died beside.
Don’t get me wrong—I wouldn’t change what I had now for the world.
But it didn’t stop me missing those I’d left in the past.
Especially Atlas.
I hadn’t seen him since that fateful day on the beach. When I’d finally found my spine and ended things with Lyle once and for all. Atlas had given me a proud smile. I’d spotted it. Everything had been going to shit around us, but I hadn’t missed it.
I’d half thought that maybe he’d reach out after that. That maybe we could move past all the times I’d ignored his pleas to put myself first. Or the fact that, when I finally did put myself first, it was to betray Juniper by leaving them.
