Page 46 of You Found Me
Mia is nodding while Colette shakes her head, and I shrug in response. Before anyone can ask for more details, I pivot to talking about their love lives.
I look to Colette in time to see her big green eyes roll. “Online dating is still awful—shocker. I mean, I match with people who seem really interesting, we make plans, and then as soon as we meet up in person, they’re duller than dishwater. One guy actually spent the entirety of the date talking about his stamp collection. Hisstamp collection, Em. There was no indication on his profile that he was a stamp enthusiast. I honestly give up."
There’s a chorus of groans followed quickly by laughter.
“I don’t think you should give up,” Piper tells her. “Maybe just take a break for a little while.”
Colette sighs. “I guess a break is needed.” She then looks at Piper expectantly which only causes Piper to groan.
“I went out last night with one of the customers from Blossom Brews. He’d been in a few times and last week, he asked me out. It’s a shame because he was so cute, but it was a freaking disaster. So much so that I faked a family emergency mid date.”
“Stop! Did you really?” Mia asks, as she laughs.
“Yup. To start, he looked me up and down before asking me if I really thought my outfit was appropriate for dinner. And when I was clearly offended, he played it off like a joke. That was strike one. Then he spilled the first two drinks our teenage waiter brought to us, all over the table and himself—strike two. He then proceeded to blame the waiter for overfilling his glass, not once but twice—strike three. I felt so bad for them.”
“Maybe you should have asked to see if they had any sippy cups in the back for him,” Mia adds.
“God, he really needed one. And then when the appetizer came, which happened to be a sampler platter with traditional wings, sliders, and mozzarella sticks, he droppedtwodifferent wings onto his lap and then marinara down onto his shirt.” Her hands are now covering her face when she says, “He lifted his shirt and licked it off. I repeathe licked it off. That’s strike four and five.”
“Oh, so he needed a bib, too?” Mia says aftera snort.
“I laughed it off as best as I could before excusing myself to the restroom. That’s when I called Cal and asked if he would call me five minutes later with an emergency.”
Colette starts laughing and asks, “And let me guess, he completely crushed selling the emergency?”
I catch Piper’s soft smile before she cackles. “Oh, he really did. He even roped his roommate, Jace, into it and had him in the background yelling for help. It was so hard for me not to break. But all of my high school theater experience really came in handy because I started crying as soon as Cal began talking. I gave a half assed apology for needing to leave and then ran out of the restaurant.”
“Did you not ride with him there?” I ask.
“Nope. I learned my lesson the last time I got stuck in the city. But enough aboutmydating failures. Mia,” she pauses, tauntingly wiggling her brows, “do tell us who’s been warming your bed?”
She huffs. “Actually, I haven’t gone out with anyone in a while. Just been busy trying to build my work portfolio.”
“I’m pretty sure one of the last times we brought up dating, you said the same thing.” Piper points out.
“Well, building up a portfolio takes time. Besides, now I’ve got Em living with me, so I’d rather not scar her with my escapades.” She adds in that last bit with a wink thrown my way.
“As if that ever stopped you in college. Pretty sure I’m already scarred,” I joke. “But you know you don’t have to put your love life on hold because I’m living with you.”
She waves me off. “I know. It’s really not because of you. I truly am busy with work. And the last few times I’ve gone out with someone, I had this gut feeling that I shouldn’t take them home. So instead, it’s just me, myself, and Marco.”
Colette hesitantly asks, “Who is Marco?”
At the same time, I whisper shout, “Don’t.”
Mia giddily claps her hands together. “I’m so glad you asked. Marco is my powder blue vibrating dildo. He’s curved and hits all the right spots.”
Piper cackles while Colette swats her arm, urging her to keep it down. “I truly don’t need a man right now,” Mia says with a smile. “Marco does everything I want him to do, like a good boy.”
Luckily for us, the yoga instructor walks in—ending this colorful conversation.
Chapter 14
Spencer
Monday after dropping Emmaline off, I made a pitstop at the diner for a fajita omelet.
In the fifteen minutes it took for Edie to bring out my to-go order, two women, on two separate occasions, came up to me. The first one, Serena, boldly asked me out. No “hello,” no “how are you?” Just sat down at my table, leaned into me and said, “I’m Serena. Would you like to go out sometime?”
