Page 18 of The Moon's Fury
She fidgeted with her sleeves. Soraya should arrive with Nizam any moment now. With a deep sigh, she folded the parchment and cleared off her desk. It was pointless trying to review anything with her mind so unfocused.
There was a sharp rap, a second’s warning, before the heavy door swung open.
Soraya entered, a stony Nizam in tow.
She did not look happy.
Layna shot her a quizzical look, but her sister only rolled her eyes. Without a word, Soraya left, closing the door with a soft thud.
Layna’s heart beat in her ears instead of her chest as Nizam stared at her. He shifted his weight, scratching the back of his neck.
“Hello, Layna,” he finally said quietly.
She gestured to the chair across from her.
“Please, have a seat.” Layna folded her hands neatly in her lap, straightening her spine. “Thank you for your aid during the war. It was crucial and—”
“Layna, please. Let’s not pretend any longer. Speak freely,” Nizam said, his voice weary. A spark of outrage flickered to life in her belly, quickly fanning the flames of a fast-burning anger.
“All right,” she replied stiffly. “You said in your letter that you can explain everything. So please, doexplain. Explain why you told me you could picture no one else as your queen. Why you kissed me in the gardens at night and told me I had enraptured youyears agoat my first Summit. Why, before leaving, you asked Baba for a lock of my hair to formally cement our courtship.” She took a deep breath, anger leaving scorching hot trails in her veins. “Why you never wrote a single letter.” Another deep breath. “Why you didn’t continue our courtship.”
Layna glanced at her lap as she finished speaking.
Her fingers were glowing.
Fuck.
Her heart raced even faster, and she clenched her eyes shut, inhaling until her lungs protested, then exhaled slowly, like she and Zarian had practiced. When she opened her eyes, the glow had vanished.
Nizam stared at her with a morose expression, seemingly oblivious to her dilemma.
“All valid questions,” Nizam sighed. “Layna, please believe me. Every word I said to you was true. And I had every intention of keeping my promise. Of marrying you. I returned to Baysaht dreaming of a future together. As soon as the carriage stopped inmy courtyard, I sought out my father and told him of my desire to marry you.” He leaned closer, bracing his forearms on the wooden table.
“But my father denied me outright. By then, whispers of Zephyria’s plans had reached the council. They feared allying with a kingdom on the brink of war. Baysaht has staunchly avoided conflict throughout its history. We are, at our very heart, a neutral nation.” Nizam averted his gaze. His voice cracked as he said, “And I couldn’t refuse him, Layna. He was still weak from his stomach illness, which you might have guessed, he never fully recovered from. I couldn’t worry him, couldn’t oppose his command, not when he was so ill.
“I told myself I would broach the subject again once he was better. But that time never came. His condition worsened. Still, I mentioned it to him again, but by then, Zephyria had amassed troops at your border. War was imminent. He became so angry that day. He—he didn’t stop vomiting. We brought in special healers. They gave him a sleeping draught and advised us to keep him comfortable. His time was limited.”
“Why didn’t you write and tell me this?” she interjected. Her fingers felt uncomfortably warm, and she forced herself to take deep, steadying breaths.
“I couldn’t bear telling you he’d refused. Because putting it in writing would make it inevitable. Certain.True. I was a coward, Layna. I chose the path of silence because I thought it might buy me time. That I could figure something out. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of you.”
His shoulders slumped. “Then, my father passed. I became king. The council was brutal—they questioned my every decision in those early months. I didn’t know who I could trust. And I had my sisters to think of, my mother. So I bided my time. I heeded the council’s advice, made sound decisions. Then, I began hosting a monthly assembly with my citizens.”
Her eyes widened.
“The council was against it at first, but they saw how much the people loved it. How they had great ideas, how engaged they were.” Nizam released a watery laugh. “I learned that fromyou, Layna. I may have never written you, but you’ve had my heart since I said goodbye to you in that courtyard. You hold it, still. Sometimes it’s so intense I can’t breathe—but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
“I continued that way. Listening to the council and holding the assemblies. I increased them to twice monthly, and for once, my council didn’t question me. Then, at one meeting, there was an emissary from Alzahra. He said Zephyria was preparing to attack and requested aid. I didn’t hesitate. I immediately told him we’d send half our forces. I announced to my citizens that it was from Princess Layna that I had learned how to be a true king of the people. And from that day forth, Baysaht would no longer choose neutrality in the face of oppression. My people cheered.” A broken chuckle escaped him, a desperate, cracked sound. “I wish you could’ve seen the angry, outraged faces of my council. But they couldn’t undermine their king in front of the citizens. Afterward, behind closed doors, they tried to persuade me. A few advisers even resigned. But I would not be swayed.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of you being hurt in the war. Of never being able to tell you how I—” He sucked in a sharp breath. “Of your beloved city walls being breached. Destroyed. That’s why I sent my soldiers.” Nizam reached across the table, resting his hand face up. “But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I also hoped it would be enough for you to forgive me. For hurting you with my silence. For breaking my promise.” He inhaled shakily. “For choosing my father and my kingdom when I wanted to chooseyou.”
Layna stared at his outstretched hand. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest. She had taken his silence as rejection, butcould she really fault him for abiding by his ill father’s decisions? If she were in his place, she’d likely have done the same.
Youaredoing the same.
She quickly silenced that needling thought.
Nizam had sent half his kingdom’s forces to help her, without any guarantee of treaty, because he couldn’t stand to see her hurt, or worse. He had risked everything to help her. Undoubtedly, he wanted to return to Baysaht with her by his side, unite their kingdoms, and show his people their fallen soldiers were not in vain.
