Page 86 of The Princess Trap
Cherry could almost feel Magda’s fury, radiating from her body in waves. But still, the little woman turned stiffly to Cherry and bowed her head. “I am very sorry if I made you at all uncomfortable with my behaviour, Miss Neita. I will endeavour to meet your needs more fully from now on.”
Cherry blinked. At least the woman knew how to apologise. “That’s okay,” she said. “Perhaps we could start over.”
Magda nodded sharply. “I would appreciate that. With your permission, Your Highness, I will see about making the necessary rearrangements…”
“Of course,” Ruben nodded.
Magda left, but Cherry trailed behind, because she was pathetic. Because she was hoping that he’d do something or say something to cross the growing distance between them. But the silence stretched out as she walked away, and he didn’t call her back. Cherry stood on the threshold, forced herself to grab the ridiculous crystal doorknob—
“Shut the door.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
She sucked in a breath as the words sank into her skin, like fresh rain after a drought. And then she did as Ruben had asked and shut the damn door.
She heard his chair slide against the thick carpet as he stood. He walked over to her, and then his hands settled on her waist, and he turned her around and pushed her against the cool wood.
“God,” he said, a little smile curving his lips. “They really made a mess of your face.”
She huffed out a laugh, as if her heart wasn’t beating a mile a minute. “I look half-dead.”
“The prettiest zombie I ever saw,” he murmured wryly.
She smiled. And he closed his eyes, frowning as if he were in pain. “It’s been days since you smiled at me. For real, not for someone else’s benefit.” He opened his eyes and studied her, his face more serious than she’d ever seen it. “I’ve beenthinking a lot, since we got here. About… the things I’ve valued in my life. And the things I’ve allowed to define me.”
Cherry swallowed down the lump in her throat, forced back all the things she wanted to say, and let him talk. His hand tightened on her waist—and then he pulled back as his fingers brushed her skin through the open zipper.
“You’re not dressed,” he said, his voice hoarse.
“Of course I am. Just doesn’t fit.”
He shook his head, his gaze latching on to the slice of bare skin exposed by the gaping fabric. She wanted him to touch her again, but he moved his hand away.
“Cherry,” he said softly. “I know I messed things up. Twice. Probably more than twice, but I’m too clueless to keep track of these things effectively.”
She laughed. “You’re not clueless. Okay?”
“You don’t have to feel sorry for me, you know. I’m sure it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m not a victim. Not anymore.” She wasn’t sure what Ruben was talking about until he went on. “I made a choice to stay in this twisted situation, and I’m starting to realise it was a bad one. I give Harald power over me and feel likeI’mholding power overhimbecause… Because it kills him that I’m even here. But it’s a pointless cycle. It’s childish. It’s not me.”
Cherry rolled her lips in as she tried to sort her thoughts, tried to put this in a way he’d understand. “I don’t pity you, first of all. I mean, aside from being literal royalty, you’re very gorgeous and very rich and you have a loving family—”
He snorted. “No I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. Agathe is your family. And so is Demi, and so is Hans. So no, I don’t pity you. I would like to kill everyone who has ever hurt you, but I don’t pity you.” He smiled slightly at those words, and Cherry felt like she’d done something right. It gave her the confidence to keep going.
“When all of this started, I didn’t understand why you were so caught up in what the media thought, in your family name and your brother. I understand now. I do. But I also think that you’re strong enough to let that go. Your brother is so desperate to convince you that you’re unworthy, because he knows you’re a better man than he will ever be. And I never met either of your parents, but if five years with them turned you into the kind of child who could survive Harald, and still care about people and…feelthings, then they must have been amazing. And they must have loved you really fucking hard.”
Ruben wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into the safety of his broad chest, burying her face against his shirt. Her eyes closed as she drowned in the familiar, soothing scent of him, as she felt his hand come to rest against her hair.
“The other night,” he whispered, “I freaked out because I decided a long time ago that I couldn’t have a family. Especially not children. I see all the ways children are vulnerable, even children who are loved, whose familieswantto protect them. And I’ve never been able to handle it. I just couldn’t. But when I was with you, and I thought there was a chance that I could get you pregnant, I thought—I thought, ‘There’s no need to panic. She might be on the pill, or something.’ But I didn’t want you to be. I had this idea, for all of half asecond—I must have lost my fucking mind. But I had this idea that you’d be pregnant and then you’d be stuck with me.” He laughed. “Ridiculous, I know. And then I panicked. I didn’t understand what was going on in my own head.”
He shrugged, and Cherry pulled back, just enough to see his face. He looked rueful and more than a little embarrassed. “Oh, so you’re saying you want to knock me up?” she teased.
He rolled his eyes. “Stop that. You brat.”
“You said it, not me.”
“It was just…” He waved a hand. “Instinct. A reflex. I don’t know. Forget about that. I’m trying to apologise, here.”
