Page 19 of Die for You
And here, I will rule.
Lenny’s reflection stands beside mine, those eyes pulling me in as they always do.
But to move on, I also must let him go.
He is the past. And no matter my love for him, love will never be enough.
I turn the faucet to hot and watch as the mirror fogs up. Lenny’s face fades by the second.
“You cannot forget me,tesoro mio. I am a part of you.”
“I can try,” I reply to make-believe Lenny, watching as his image is nothing but a ghost.
The pain in my heart is unbearable, but I think the pain will forever be there as a reminder that Lenny was real; that what we had was real.
The pain is a reminder that, for a small fraction of time, I loved and was loved in return.
And what a bittersweet memory it’ll forever be.
I swipe my palm down the mirror, wiping Lenny away.
All I see now is the face of someone I was always destined to become.
I dress and feel remotely better. Perhaps this is what closure feels like.
I still have no idea how I’m going to get to where I need to be tonight. It’s time I rejoin the land of the living and get myself a cell. Or at least access to a computer.
Until then, I need to rely on a Good Samaritan.
I slip into my white sandals and tie back my hair as it’s a warm night. My appearance is that of any other girl my age. But I am nothing like them.
The moment I step outside, I tip my face to the heavens and inhale the clean air. If I’m going to live life as a criminal, then what better place to be?
I realize this is the first time I’ve left the property. The land my home is on is big enough for me to run circles around and still not cover the entirety of it. So as I get closer to the steel gates, a sense of anxiety overcomes me.
But I quash it down because I have a job to do.
Once out of the gates, I scour my surroundings and commit everything to memory. The street is dead quiet, and as for neighbors, there are none. However, I continue my journey because Nico has to live nearby. He is the only person I know, so hopefully he can help.
Even though everything is unfamiliar, I don’t feel displaced. Perhaps it’s because with a new place comes new memories, ones where no one knows who I really am.
I follow the gravel road for what feels like miles until I hear the revving of a motorcycle. I follow the noise, hoping that my hunch is right.
Nico comes and goes on foot, which means he must live close by. Not to mention Lupo wandered into my yard like he owns the place. This must be his neighborhood. And when I stand at the bottom of a driveway and peer at the small but charming farmhouse, I’m glad I trusted my gut.
Nico is tinkering with his motorbike, oblivious to me admiring his very naked chest. I wasn’t expecting him to be packing that six-pack and broad shoulders. But I guess that’s because I wasn’t really looking.
However, now that I am, I’m not sure I can look away.
Lupo gives me away as he barks happily.
Nico peers up to see what the noise is about, and when he sees me, he waves with a smile.
I stop gawking and wave back before walking up the driveway. The brick house is modest, but the fruit trees surrounding it are simply beautiful. I assume by the farm machinery that this is Nico’s work and residence. I wonder if he lives here with his family. Or a partner.
“Ciao,” he says, wiping his greasy hands on a rag. His chest is slathered in smudges of oil.
“Ciao,” I reply, ensuring I keep my eyes on his.
