Page 11 of Such a Good Couple
‘So, where can I store my children?’ Clara asked, just as the uniformed waiter materialised with champagne and narrowly avoided being knocked over by Reggie, who was rolled up into a ball and being pushed along the wooden deck by his brothers.
‘Dodi and Essie are watching movies and eating their weight in treats. Do you lads want to see the cinema?’ Maggie asked.
‘Hell, yes!’ Josh sounded more and more like a teenage YouTuber from the Midwest every time she saw him.
Another member of the boat staff appeared on cue and gently herded the boys off down a red-carpeted corridor that led deeper into the boat.
Annie, Maggie noticed, was declining the champagne, and Maggie felt a tug of pity. It was unlikely she was pregnant – she’d shared last month’s negative test in the group chat. It was probably more to do with the strict lifestyle choices being pushed by the internet forums. Maggie wished she could be a better support for Annie but the truth was she didn’t have any experience of what Annie was going through. She and Fionn had gotten pregnant with minimal effort and, while twins had felt like a lot, there were advantages – they had an instant, ready-made family and Maggie never had to get pregnant again.
Maggie mentally shuddered, remembering the full-body takeover of pregnancy that had left her unrecognisable to herself. It had been so hard not to slide back into old habits during that first year of motherhood when life felt so completely out of control. The babies cried. She cried. She couldn’t get them to feed, sleep or shit. She was tormented by the all-pervasive feeling that she was fucking it up in every direction. Still, she’d managed not to give in to the old urges. It had helped that her mum had moved in temporarily to their tiny flat in Peckham forthe first months. Maggie’s little crutch was not very compatible with living in close quarters with other people.
Recently, Maggie and Fionn had discussed paying for IVF for Annie and Conor but Maggie was very wary of suggesting it. It felt so personal. How did you even bring something like that up? The few times Annie had referenced IVF, she’d said that they ‘weren’t quite there yet’. Though with Annie being nearly forty-two, Maggie couldn’t help but think there was some denial going on.
‘So!’ Annie smiled at the waiter, who’d produced a glass of pink, non-alcoholic fizz for her. ‘According to the itinerary, we’re on this boat for ninety minutes! Do we get a tour?’
‘Yes! Tour, please!’ Clara chimed in, swigging from her glass.
Maggie laughed. ‘I’d say it’ll take hours to get around this boat. I swear, I told Brody to just get us a nice, normal yacht. Let’s have some snacks in the leather lounge? Ye must be wrecked from the flight.’
Maggie led them through the double doors.
Conor looked around. ‘The leather lounge sounds like a place for seventies couples to do some swinging. Oh, look! Everything’s wipe clean.’
Giggling, Clara plonked herself down and immediately tucked into the charcuterie plates that were dotted on small tables among the seating. ‘I guess it figures that there’d be loads of meat in the leather lounge.’ She laughed. ‘So, Maggie,’ Clara spoke through a mouth full of prosciutto, ‘I’m gonna need a full rundown of what you’re doing to your face, at some point. You’ve gone fullDeath Becomes Her– and I mean that as a huge compliment.’
‘Oh God, in LA this is considered, like, fully unkempt.’ Maggie gestured at herself. ‘Wait till the party on Monday night. There’ll be loads of movie people there and you’ll see what I mean.’
‘Oooooh!’ Annie murmured. ‘I saw the celeb bash in theschedule. Exciting!’
‘Yeah.’ Maggie tried to look enthusiastic. ‘I think Brody kind of talked Fionn into it. Good networking, yada yada yada …’
She took a seat beside Conor, who was enthusiastically spooning caviar onto a piece of crusty bread. Ollie was on the other side of him buried in his phone and muttering about roaming charges.
‘I’m out of Botox until we’ve finished paying off the new sofa.’ Clara drew the skin of her forehead up to her hairline to demonstrate how smooth and expressionless she’d prefer to be. ‘I wish they’d hurry up and start selling home injectable kits. Imaginethatin the Aldi miscellaneous aisle.’
‘The dream,’ Annie echoed wistfully. ‘There’d be riots, though. You should see the queues when they have the inflatable hot tubs on special. A few weeks ago, an elderly woman broke some ribs in a Ballyfermot supermarket when they had a forty-five-euro pizza oven. It was carnage.’
‘Botox is probably not even a thing in California anymore, is it?’ Clara mused. ‘What do ye have now? Are ye harvesting the skin from babies’ arses and grafting it to your faces?’
‘Yes! Exactly.’ Maggie giggled. ‘It’s a procedure called Baby Arse Face and it’s all the rage.’
Clara laughed, but a second later Maggie noticed her shooting a slightly irked look at Ollie’s frantic tapping. Nothing more annoying than your other half on their phone, Maggie reasoned.
When Fionn was around, his phone was like a third person in the marriage. If it wasn’t Brody ringing him, it was Steven, his agent, invariably delivering news that, depending on whether it was good or bad, would see the atmosphere of the house instantly altered. If Steven opened with ‘They’re going with someone else’, Fionn was liable to disappear into the gym for upwards of two hours to blow off steam. If Steven said, ‘You nailed it!’ Fionn would probably still head to the gym, just in abubble of excitement rather than frustration. Either way, Maggie was on the outside.
‘Ollie, can you stop pawing at that phone like it’s your willy.’ Clara was withering. ‘What are you at? Pretty much everyone you know is in this room with you.’
Ollie grinned up at her. ‘Now, now, no need for a snit. I’m just sorting out roaming. There’s this digitalSIMyou can get that saves a fortune—’
‘Grand! Fine!’ Clara interjected. ‘No need for boring details. Can you just play with yourself elsewhere?’
‘Surely the leather room is the designated play with yourself area?’ Conor mugged.
Ollie stood shakily. The boat, at last, was on the move. ‘I’m gonna head out and see if I can get signal. We’ve got like an hour, right?’
‘Yup, bit longer even,’ Maggie replied.
‘Eh,’ Annie piped up, looking over at Conor meaningfully. ‘Actually, is there somewhere we can maybe have a bit of privacy just for—?’
