Page 63 of The Snag List
‘OK but … you’re totally high right now!’ Roe started laughing. ‘Talking about not being high any more while being high is such high talk!’
‘No, I’m serious, I am going to do this. I think I have to, for Tilly and Tom.’
‘Did you ever notice Tilly’s a really weird name? Tiiilly. Ti-leeee.’
‘Roe, I am so excited. The second I come down I am going to get my shit together.’ Ailbhe felt fabulous. Who knew her mushroom trip ‘come to Jesus’ moment would be so tragically vanilla? And that she’d be so happy about it?
21
‘HI, GUYS, IT’S MAX HERE FROM MAXXED OUT – welcome back to my channel.’ Max was jigging on his chair, delivering his spiel and drumming his palms on the edge of the dining table where, just out of shot, the cereal bowls from breakfast still lingered. ‘If you haven’t already, don’t forget to hit the subscribe button and ring that bell for notifications … So in today’s video I am showing you guys how we’re going to pack for our Monteray Vacay with thanks to our awesome sponsors Monteray Life Limited and Samsonite!’
‘Cut,’ Adam boomed from the other side of the camera. Lindy took this gap in the filming to gather her phone and keys, keen to escape being sucked into any content. She needed to wrap up a few Snag List bits before the weekend away. Also, Finn had demanded a mysterious meeting at the office and would be there at noon, which didn’t leave Lindy much time.
‘Max.’ Adam looked exasperated. ‘I willpayyou to stop drumming. We need to get all these intros filmed before we leave tomorrow.’
Two weeks after the trip in Ailbhe’s attic they were going on a more family-orientated one. Apart from the day in Wicklow, they hadn’t left Monteray in over three months, and Lindy was sure it’d be good for everyone, even though the set-up was a little, well, Monteray Valleyish. Monteray Vacay was yet another cult-like facet to the Monteray Valley life – virtually a replica estate built along the coast in Waterford that everyone could decamp to for six weeks a year. There were some bonus features: a golf course, a more extensive spa, water sports and activities for children. But going on holiday with everyone you live with was bananas.
‘Take the money, Max, he’s good for it!’ Lindy called playfully as she headed for the door.
‘Oh ho …’ Adam picked up his phone and turned towards her. ‘Ifanyoneis good for it’s Ms Just Got a Write-Up in theIndoover there.’
‘What? About The Snag List? Why are they writing about it? The press release isn’t even written yet.’
‘It’s the ‘Industry Incoming’ column, so just a short mention that you’ve lately left the CEO position at Maxxed Out and there are “whispers” that you’re “spearheading” a new project.’
‘Oh God.’ Lindy did the wince-face emoji at Max, who gamely did it back to her. ‘What’s the worst thing they said?’ She leaned against the door frame.
‘Lindy Reid,’ Adam read, ‘perhaps best known as the wife of Adam Zelner.’
‘Nooo!’ She laughed.
‘Absolute shade,’ Max added.
‘Well, that just looks bad on them. What’s the best thing?’
‘The stunning Reid could easily have gone the classic YouTube matriarch route into lifestyle endorsements but has instead opted—’
‘Shut the fuck up!’
‘Mom!’
‘Lindy!’
‘I’m sorry – it slipped out.’ Lindy laughed at their identical looks of outrage. ‘But you made that bit up!’
‘Actually, no, it’s right here. Youarestunning.’ He hopped down and came over to hold her face to the light like an appraiser. ‘Marion Cotillard-esque I would say.’
‘Shtap that.’
‘Who do you think Dad looks like?’ Max was looking at Marion Cotillard on his phone.
‘Dad looks like a young Dr Evil.’ Lindy rubbed her husband’s head playfully.
‘Excuse me, I am in much better shape than Dr Evil,’ said Adam, slipping his hand around her waist and kissing her deeply.
She left them filming their intros. They had a lot of content to do over the weekend, and pre-shooting these bits was a bid to make the weekend feel less like work for Max. She walked through the bright, cloudless Friday morning feeling buoyant. Things were righting themselves. Adam’s slip was just that, a slip; it didn’t have to be a marriage-ender. She was feeling so much better in so many respects. The Snag List was coming to something. She’d snuck a look at the rest of theIndowrite-up before she left the house, and it had called her a ‘zeitgeist surfer’ joining the ‘swathes of savvy entrepreneurs spotting, in the wake of the pandemic, potential for new services and business opportunities’. They said The Snag List was hugely prescient, as people were re-evaluating their lives after the crisis. It was certainly incredible seeing Roe doing so well. She was literally transforming because of the push she’d gotten from The Snag List. Eilers had been thrilled with the mushroom trip, and Ailbhe seemed to have got some new clarity from the escapade too. She wasn’t drinking and said she was going to give AA another try.
Helping Rachel make her amends to Sigrid would bring an interesting dimension to the slate of testimonials. She was nearly finished getting all the data together.
