Page 105 of Love Medley
Instead, I may have to break my own.
As I return to my apartment, completely preoccupied by my doomsday thoughts, someone grabs me by the arm.
“Lucy. Lucy, Lucy, Lucy,” he tuts.
It’s like the devil's echo of Jake's tender caress last night—the gentle words twisted into the sound of my nightmares. Weston, of course. Yet another reason why Jake and I can’t be together—Weston is never, ever going to leave me alone. I was just fooling myself when I thought I could get rid of him.
“I see you’re here without your boy toy.”
I jerk my arm away from his grasp. “What the hell, Weston! Are you following me?”
“Of course not,” Weston says, his eyes dark, black pools.
I can tell he’s lying. He’s probably been waiting for me to get home for God knows how long.
“Where did you just come from? Were you with thatnurseof yours?” Weston says the word “nurse” with dripping condescension.
“What if I was?” I say, with unusual fierceness. “What’s it to you?”
Weston hisses, “He’s a total loser, Lucy. Can’t you see that? He’s not good enough for you.”
“You don’t get to say who is good enough for me.”
“I’ve been very patient with your games, but it’s time to drop the act. You’ve made your point. You were able to find another guy to dangle. Now it’s time to come back to me.”
I’m shaking with anger and fear. “I know that you had a bad childhood. Your dad was awful to you. I can’t imagine what it was like, knowing at any moment he'd hit you or your mother again. But that doesn’t mean you have free license to take out your frustration on me!”
“How dare you! I’ve never lifted a finger against you. You’re just confused as always. You’re weak like my mother was. She needed a firm hand to guide her, just like you do.” Weston lunges for me, and I dash past him into the safety of my building.
Back in my apartment, I shudder and shake for what seems like hours. It takes a long time to calm myself even with the breathing technique that Jake taught me.
Part of me wonders if this is my punishment for something I did so many years ago. Maybe I deserve all of this—my parents’ disappointment, Weston’s stalking, probably losing Jake. Maybe I’m destined to feel adrift and alone.
Over the past few weeks, I started to believe. Today, I remember why I don’t.
Chapter thirty-four
Jake
Last night, something happened between Lucy and me. Somehow, the topic of Sam wedged a barrier between us.
My heart clenches in my chest. Does Lucy believe the same thing Sam does? That I should do everything in my power to make amends with my father, no matter what it takes?
If that’s how I can keep Lucy in my life, maybe I should think about it. And if that’s what Lucy wants—does that mean she aligns with my father’s ideals after all? Maybe now that she’s had more time to think about our future, she realizes she wants…more? After all, if I had a more prestigious job, Lucy would never feel like she was missing out on someone better, someone more impressive.
Even though Weston is a total ass and doesn’t deserve to kiss the ground Lucy walks on, hedoeshave a pedigree that my father would approve of. After being with someone like that, maybe she just went for the first guy who was the complete opposite of him. While I don’t think this was her intent…maybe I was a rebound after all.
I’m a nurse who’ll be taking orders from someone like Lucy the rest of my life. But even if I wanted to go back to medical school, which I don’t, I don’t have the same drive as Wyatt or Sterling. There’s no way I’d be able to stick to something I know in my heart isn’t for me.
Maybe I should let Lucy go. Set her free to find someone she can be proud of. That said, I think it’s already too late for me. As soon as I met Lucy that day in the ER, I was destined to fall head over ass for her. And now after all this time with her, the thought of losing her feels like a rib cracking in my chest.
I crave Lucy like my lungs need air. When she’s there, I feel like I can breathe easily for the first time in my life. When she’s not, every inhale is labored like I’m a miner trapped underground, gasping in the last dregs of oxygen.
I can't let her go.
Before I can stop myself, my hands are typingout a text.
Me: Are you around? I miss you. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms.
