Page 7 of Unnatural
Salma pressed her lips together, her expression showing displeasure. But Autumn didn’t get the feeling Salma was displeased with her. Maybe just the situation. The unfairnessof it all. “Do you want me to bandage you up so you won’t accidentally make it worse tonight?”
“No. I think it was just a one-time thing.”
Salma stared at Autumn’s arms for a few moments longer. “There seemed to be a lot of scratching going on last night,” she murmured before giving Autumn’s hands one final squeeze and letting go.
“What do you mean?”
But Salma shook her head. “Oh nothing. Just the full moon I guess.”
The full moon.
“Did you know that more babies are born during full moons?” Salma asked.
“No. Why is that?”
“No scientific reason, but it’s true even so. Not everything can be measured, at least not by us. My mother used to say that the full moon brings on all manner of strange behavior. It influences things.”
“Like dreams?” Now that Autumn thought about it, the dreams of running and the one ofhimhad all come during the full moon.Is that why I made him of moonlight?
“Definitely dreams.” Salma leaned in conspiratorially. “If the moon is powerful enough to move the tides, just imagine what else it can sway.”
Can it bring dreams to life?
Autumn’s lips curved, but she didn’t speak of the boy with Salma. She’d been ruminating on it, and she wanted to clear it from her mind for at least a little while.
“Will you tell me about your mother, Salma?”If I can’t know my own, then let me know yours.Salma was so sweet—Autumn figured only someone good and kind could have raised a woman like Salma. “Did everyone love her?”
A wistful smile crossed Salma’s lips, and she let out a fluttery laugh. “Oh no. She wasn’t like you, sent here to tend to others’ hearts. She’d say it just like it was, whether it hurt your feelings or not.” But despite what sounded a bit like criticism, love was shining from her eyes.
“What’s better?” Autumn wondered. To forever be mindful of harsh words or overly honest opinions or to lay it out there, come what may?
Salma laughed. “Well, it’sbestto be just who you were made to be. And my mother, God rest her soul, felt plenty comfortable sitting you straight down, looking you in the eye, and saying, ‘Girl, those pants don’t do a thing for you, and neither does that wreck of a boyfriend.’”
Autumn laughed. “Did she say that to you?”
“That and many other things.” Salma rolled her eyes but then smiled, the wistful one again. “But then she’d hug you so hard you’d know there was always a place for you in her arms. I miss her terribly. I miss that I always knew I could count on her to tell me exactly how she saw things. And then she’d accept it without judgment if I respectfully disagreed.” She smiled again. “Despite her brand of delivery, which wasn’t always appreciated, she was usually right in the end.” She paused. “She was fiercely loyal and passionately dedicated to truth. She always did therightthing, regardless of whether it made others like her and whether or not it was popular…or safe.” A worried frown tilted her mouth. “And she encouraged me to do the same.” Her eyes met Autumn’s, and then she looked away. She appeared troubled, thoughtful for a few moments.
Autumn yawned. Talking to Salma had served to ease her body and her mind. She glanced at the cup of meds. She’d always welcomed the absence of pain the medicationprovided, but now…nowshe had questions that would only be answered if she could pull herself from the dark depths of slumber where the medication delivered her. “Salma, do you think…do you think instead of bandaging my arms, I might cut down on the sleep medication?” She didn’t want to stop taking it completely. She suddenlywantedthe dreams it brought. She just didn’t want to be practically comatose.
Salma picked up the cup, but at Autumn’s question, she hesitated, the cup halfway between the tray and Autumn. Her eyes tilted downward, and an expression came over her face Autumn didn’t know how to read. “Dr. Heathrow won’t approve of that,” she said almost woodenly. “He’s very, very insistent on the cocktail protocol, and the sleep medication is a part of that. I’ve requested tweaks based on specific cases, but the answer has always been absolutely no.”
Salma’s gaze lifted slowly, meeting Autumn’s, and Autumn stilled. She swore the look in her favorite nurse’s eyes was grief. Then a flash of anger that melted into something that appeared to be resolve before she looked away.
Autumn blinked, wondering if she’d read far more in Salma’s gaze than had actually been there. Or misinterpreted it. “Do you…do you think a different drug protocol might be better for me, Salma?”
Salma hesitated, but then shook her head. “Dr. Heathrow’s an expert, sweetheart. I’m just a nurse.”Just a nurse.Salma apparently didn’t understand how big the wordjustwas in that particular sentence.
Autumn thought of Dr. Heathrow with his cold eyes and distant expression, the way he seemed to look through the Mercy kids rather than at them. The way his lips moved silently as though he was forever calculating things in his mind. Yes, she supposed he was an expert—ageniusshe’dbeen told—and one who kept many of them alive far longer than life alone would have allowed, but she was forever thankful thatSalmaand the other nurses were the dispensers of his drug cocktail rather than him. She’d prefer he stay locked in his lab, far away from her.
“Anyway,” Salma said, handing the paper cup of medication to Autumn. “These are your sleep medications. You definitely wouldn’t want to halve the dose for a week and then halve it again for another week before doing away with them entirely. That would be against protocol.”
Autumn blinked as Salma stood, taking the few steps to the sink against the wall and turning on the faucet. She began humming as she washed her hands.
Autumn looked down at the tablets. There were two of each.Halve the dose.She quickly removed one of each type and shoved them under her bony hip. Then she tipped the cup to her mouth, reaching for the glass of water on her bedside table and swallowing them just as Salma grabbed a paper towel and turned around. Autumn handed her the empty cup.
“Good girl,” Salma said, taking it and tossing it into the trash near the sink. She picked up the second paper cup, this one filled with six pills and capsules, and handed it to Autumn. “And you definitely, definitely don’t want to stop taking the yellow and blue capsules. Those make up the Mesmivir. The other ones are simply medications that expedite its delivery. Alone, they’re harmless.”
Harmless.
