Page 79 of I Heart Mason Cartwright
Willow
I’ve never beena good sleeper. One of my favorite things about living here is sitting on the deck at night when I can’t sleep and watching the sound.
I hear someone behind me. I can tell it’s Mason over Zach by the way he moves in my periphery. “Couldn’t sleep either, huh?”
“No. I don’t always sleep well anyway, but tonight is unusually bad.”
“I have some melatonin pills if you want to try it.”
“Maybe in a bit. Is it okay if I join you?”
“Sure. And just so you know, the melatonin did not help me tonight, so take the offer accordingly.”
“Will do.” He takes a seat next to me on the edge of the deck. P-Tink sighs and moves to place a paw on his foot, which I think is adorable. Her head and other front paw are resting on my feet.
“Crazy couple of weeks, huh?” I ask him.
“Definitely. And totally out of character for me.”
“It’s AshLynn.” I sigh, hating to admit the truth. “She does that to men. They lose their mind over her.”
“I didn’t—” He starts to deny it but stops. Because I’m guessing that’s exactly what happened. That like most men, he stopped thinking rationally when she was around and pretty much lost his mind.
He laughs and confirms my theory. “I guess so, huh?”
“Don’t feel bad, you aren’t the first,” I say. “My dad takes the prize for that. Just in a different way.” I scoff. “He’d do just about anything for her. It’s remarkable to witness at times.”
“He’d do the same for you,” he says. Which I find funny since he has no way of knowing that and is obviously just trying to make me feel better. It’s sweet, but unnecessary.
“Maybe before my mom died, but definitely not after,” I say. “Her death changed him. And not for the better. He wasn’tgoodagain until AshLynn came along, and maybe even a little while longer after that.”
“I’m sorry you went through that,” he says.
“It’s okay. I’ve dealt with it.”
“Therapy?”
I wave my hand dismissively. “Therapy, alcohol, travel, you name it, I’ve done it to help me cope with both parents leaving me. Even though my dad didn’t die, he disappeared mentally and emotionally right after my mom did, and never really came back.”
“That’s got to be hard.”
“Eh, I mean, you never had a dad, so really what’s worse?”
“Probably having one and losing him, over never knowing one at all.”
“Maybe,” I say, then change the subject because I don’t want to talk about my dad any longer. Especially after tonight, when the disappointment that I feel in him is so monumental it’s hard to breathe.
“So, what’s next for you?” I ask.
“I’m not sure,” he says. “I’ve been traveling a bit and ended this last jaunt at my buddy Jake’s party in Leavenworth where I met AshLynn, so I’ll probably go visit my mom for a bit. Take it day by day.”
“Why do you think you’ve never done things the normal way, if you don’t mind me asking. You know, like get a job, find a house, stay in one place, etc.”
“Good question. I think it has to do with never leaving or going anywhere as a kid. My mom was poor, so we never went anywhere. We rented a tiny house, and nothing ever changed about it. The owner was old as dirt, and he preferred everything be the same. Even if an appliance broke down, it was replaced with something just as old, but in working order. She worked multiple jobs my entire childhood, so I spent a lot of time in that shitty little house.
“Don’t get me wrong, she made the inside of the house as pleasing as she could, but there wasn’t a lot of time or money for that. No yard to speak of, and what was there was dirt. Neither of us knew how to tend a yard or fix anything. It wasn’t until I was in fifth grade that I started tinkering with fixing shit, growing grass, landscaping. I went to the library and read as many home improvement, gardening, and fix-it books that I could find. Experimenting on the house kept me out of trouble, and I learned a valuable trade.”
“Like my big orange book,” I say with a laugh.
