Page 80 of I Heart Mason Cartwright
“Yeah. But, in answer to your question, I think being sedentary for so long awakened something in me. I knew after that I didn’t want to be stuck in the same place again. And if I were, it would have to be someplace incredible.” He sighs. “You have a place like that here, you know.”
“Thanks. I was lucky to find it.”
“You going to hire people to finish it?”
“What? No. The whole point is to do this myself. Good or bad.”
“Your family seems to think you won’t do it.”
“Yeah, well. Don’t get me started on them. I don’t need to sour your opinion on my family even more.”
He chuckles, but it’s hollow sounding.
“No,” I continue, “I need to prove to myself that I can do something hard and time-consuming. That I have stick-to-itiveness. Though, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure why. I mean I know I’m trying to figure my life out. What it means, how I want to live it, what I want to do with it, but at the end of that journey I want to have something quantifiable that I produced. Does that make sense?”
“More than you know. I think I know exactly what you mean,” he says softly.
I look up slightly from where I’d been studying the sand in front of us. He’s staring at me. He reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear. His touch makes me shiver.
“Cold?” he asks.
I shake my head. It’s hard to be cold in the proximity of someone who radiates so much heat. I wonder for a quick second if he’s going to kiss me. And by wonder, I mean hope. But instead he drops his hand and stands.
“I think I’m going to try sleeping again. You okay out here on your own?”
“Yeah, but I’m going to go in too.” I follow him inside with P-Tink padding softly behind me. We say goodnight in the living room and each head in separate directions to our rooms.
I crawl into bed next to Zach. P-Tink acts as buffer between us, usually on her back with all four legs in the air displaying her belly for anyone who may want to scratch it in the middle of the night. I lie there, waiting for sleep to claim me. Which doesn’t happen for another hour, but when it does, my dreams are filled with my family chasing off all my suitors, then mailing them bills for the expenses.
* * *
I waketo P-Tink’s nose touching mine. She has no concept of personal space when sleeping. Sometimes it’s cute, and sometimes I wake to us touching noses. Zach is still sleeping soundly, so I gently get out of bed, and coax P-Tink to follow. I want to make coffee before Mason leaves.
But as soon as I’m in the hallway I can tell that he’s already gone. Still I double-check the driveway and the guest room to be sure. I feel heavy inside. Weighted down by regret and disappointment. I can’t believe he’s gone. Without even saying goodbye.
What would you have said differently this morning that you couldn’t have said last night?
I ignore my rational thought process and go on feeling sad. P-Tink whimpers and rushes through the living room and kitchen to find him.
“I know, girly. He’s gone. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still have coffee and enjoy our day, right?”
She looks at me like I’m stupid.
I often feel like she’s smarter than she lets on. She lies down in the middle of the kitchen floor in a huff, her head resting on her front paws. She actually looks sad.
That’s puppy dog eyes, dork.
I scoff at myself and move to make coffee. A note is propped against the maker, with a check underneath it. Made out to my father in the amount of nine thousand one hundred fourteen dollars. My family is a bunch of assholes. And Mason is a really good guy. He didn’t deserve any of this. Maybe I can figure out a way to pay him back without him knowing.
I pick up the note, recognizing the paper from Mason’s little pad he keeps in his pocket and am thankful for hisantiquatedhabit of pen and paper.
Willow,
Thank you for your hospitality. I appreciate everything that you’ve done. I want you to know I enjoyed our talks. I’m sorry I won’t be here to help you finish the house, but I just know it’s going to be spectacular. I may not have known you long, but I know for certain that you are stronger than you think. You’ve got this. Truly. I’m a better person for having met you. Give P-Tink a belly rub for me.
-Mason
PS—I stole a travel coffee mug, but I will make sure it’s returned.
