Page 457 of Conveniently Wed
“Did you ask him why things changed?”
As she told Pa about the conversation when she’d confronted Josiah, his eyes widened and glistened with tears. He gathered her close and rocked her in his strong arms, and she rested in his warm embrace, letting his strength cover her. A whisper of words she couldn’t decipher flowed from his lips. She didn’t have much faith in prayer or God, but she couldn’t explain the peace that filled the room and seeped into her tortured soul.
They stayed that way for a long moment. Then, with a tenderness, he pulled back and took her shoulders in his hands, piercing her with that knowing gaze. “Did you tell him?”
“Tell him what?” She had to fight to keep from nibbling on her lip under his scrutiny.
“Did you ever tell Josiah that you loved him?”
“I…I didn’t. I was just figuring it out myself.”
“That explains a lot. Here you are, this young, beautiful woman, forced into a marriage. Although he was determined to win your love, he had his insecurities too. When he heard you talking to Colby, could it be that jealousy got the best of him?”
Pa was right, no doubt. But it was too late. The sorrow in the pit of her stomach threatened to overwhelm her. If only… She glanced at the bottle of laudanum and craved the option of feeling nothing.
Pa followed her gaze and rose to his feet. He strode to the bureau. “I learned the hard way that the only one I can turn to when life is painful is God. You don’t need this.” He picked up the bottle. “You need your Heavenly Father. Talk to Him. He’ll give you wisdom and strength. I promise.”
“Pa, I’m so confused.”
“I can’t tell you what to do, but this one thing I believe. Josiah loves you, despite his hardened front. The way he looks at you when you’re not aware, and his concern for you, shows someone deeply invested in your well-being. I suspect he’s suggesting an end to your marriage because he thinks that’s whatyouwant. You’re his wife, and I would bet my life that all he wants is to hear you tell him you would like to stay his wife.”
Pa stepped close and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be praying for you.” Then he left…taking the bottle of laudanum with him.
28
The long grass swayed in the breeze, and Josiah’s boot brushed the play of their green tips as they bent in waves over the sweeping expanse. Across the creek, a wooded rise with a steep rock-strewn slope opened to the rolling sun-dappled hillside. The land and the valley were the only thing in his life that made sense.
He sat rigidly in his saddle and looked at the group gathered below. Blast it. Why did he feel obligated to join Jeb for his baptism? These religious ceremonies were not his thing. At least he could keep a safe distance.
He moved closer so he could hear what was being said, and found Colby with his horse tied up under a large oak tree. Josiah nudged his mount forward. “Mind if I join you?”
Colby nodded. “Sure.”
Josiah had heard the fire-and-brimstone sermons from these types of religious zealots a time or two. Would this message be the same?
He slid from his mount, tied his horse to the nearest tree branch, and leaned against the large oak. This spot on the bank just above the crowd was the perfect place to listen, but not be readily noticed.
“You’re making a commitment,” the preacher said, “letting the world know that you’ve accepted Jesus into your life. As I lower you into the water, it will symbolize the washing away of your sin and the beginning of a new life. The power to live free from the stronghold of sin will breathe within you. You won’t be a perfect person, but you’ll be changed. And your desire to sin will diminish as your love for God increases.”
Colby removed his hat and ran a hand through his flattened hair. As the blond curls sprang to life, he looked at Josiah with sorrow in his eyes.
Josiah looked away. He didn’t need a bout of conscience from Colby.
Where was the yelling, ranting, and raving he’d expected from the pastor? The man spoke with a strong, calm voice. An angry preacher would be better than these simple words that cut deep into his soul. At least with the hell-fire message, he could distract himself with a good laugh at the preacher sweating as if he were already there.
“Jeb, you’ll be first. I’d like you to say a few words about what this means to you.” The preacher motioned Katherine’s father forward and slapped his back in encouragement. “You’ll do just fine.”
“Sorry. I’m so nervous.” Jeb’s laugh sounded forced. “Not much for crowds, just an old farmer working the land most days.”
“You can do it, brother,” one yelled.
“I’m a man of few words, but I do have something to say. I’ve sinned, and I am a sinner. Coming face to face with who I was, my weaknesses, the lies from my past I kept hidden, was the hardest, yet most freeing, moment of my life. To realize the good Lord loves a sinner like me, well I plumb near can’t take it.”
The crowd clapped, andamenswere sprinkled throughout.
“Then to lose everything in a fire and humble myself enough to ask God for provision and have it handed to me”—he looked up the bank to Josiah—“I know I’m blessed beyond measure.”
A look of sheer peace covered Jeb’s smiling face as he turned toward the preacher. “Reverend Booth, I’m ready.” He walked into the water with his head held high and his face to the heavens.
