Page 193 of Catch Me
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Maybe.”
“You guys were perfect.”
He was silent, so I looked over at him. He was staring out the window, and after a minute, he returned his attention to me.
“Not always. We had some rocky times, just like everyone. Before we got married, she was pregnant.”
My eyes widened. I hadn’t heard that story before.
He just nodded, as if he could read my mind. “I proposed to her, which I guess was a mistake. She thought it was because I thought it was the right thing to do. Thing was, I’d been carrying around that ring for months already. It was fine until she lost the baby.”
“I didn’t know.”
“We were eighteen. We weren’t ready, but we were going to be. I was happy, regardless of how it happened. But she got it in her head again that I was only marrying her because of the baby. She tried to call things off. She wasn’t thinking clearly then, what with the grief and all. That was almost it for us, but I refused to let her give it all up. I was at her job every day when she got off, waiting to pick her up. Sometimes, she let me drive her. Other times, I drove beside her, not giving a rat’s ass that I was holding up traffic.”
“How’d you get through it?”
“I never gave up.”
“But...” I chewed on my lip as I pulled into the separate lot the team used. “How’d you know that was actually what she wanted? If it wasn’t, it’d make you kind of a dick. Harassment, basically.”
To my surprise, he chuckled again. “That’s the thing about love, Trav. If you can’t see their soul through their eyes, through the things they don’t say, that’s when you should question it. If someone refuses to give up, maybe they’re a creep, or maybe they can see more of you than you’d like to believe. We were married for sixteen years, and even when things were hard, we looked into each other’s eyes and saw pieces of ourselves reflected in them.”
“Not everyone gets that,” I said dismissively.
“I think everyone gets the chance. It’s just impossible to always know that’s what we’re looking at. That slap she gave me could’ve sent me further away from her, or I could’ve retaliated and sent her further away from me. Every choice we make holds weight, so we have to act like each one could change the trajectory of our lives.”
I hopped out of the Jeep, unsure what else to say. My hand brushed the white paint on the door, and I thought about my mom. At the same time, I thought about Carl’s mom and that sketch of her.
It was easy to believe that there were all these intricate knots tying everything together. Maybe it made some people feel better to know that there was more to this life, something greater than them. Personally, I liked the idea that we had total control of it. There was probably a middle ground in there somewhere, and maybe that was what I needed to find.
For now, though, I had a game to play, and I couldn’t let anything hold me back from giving it everything I had.
Sorry, Amir. I was winning this fucking game and the one tomorrow. He could make a different bet with himself, or better yet, he could choose to come out without leaving it up to fate. That was the best way to go through life.
*****
We won, and I was ecstatic. One more and we’d be the champions. It was different now that we were back in Atlanta. Playing on our field always felt better, plus I could go home right after the game.
I wore a big smile as I met the guys outside. Sen hugged me immediately and said congratulatory words, and Kai patted my cheek like a proud grandpa for some reason.
“Anyone starving?” I asked.
“We could eat,” Linc replied, smirking at West. He stepped closer to him and whispered something in his ear. West wrapped his arms around Linc’s waist, then kissed him firmly.
Averting my gaze, I scanned the group. My brow furrowed as I looked at each person.
“Where’s Roman?” I asked casually.
“No idea,” Kai replied. “He was here earlier.”
West threw an arm around Kai. “So, how about that food?”
Why would he leave? Had he decided he really was done? He told Tilian that there was only so much he could do—only so long he could keep trying.
Maybe some people are better as strangers.
