Page 55 of Otter Heart
“Then how–”
“We got a hotel room for the night,” James interjected, pulling me into a hug. “We’d already packed up the bed and we were too exhausted to get it back out again. So, we just got a room down by the beach and had food ordered in. It was pretty nice actually, not having to make the bed in the morning.”
“You never make the bed anyway,” Rowan retorted. “I do.”
“Details,” James replied with a wave of dismissal. “But I bet you won’t guess who we saw at the hotel.”
My chest twisted with anxiety.
“It was your mom,” Rowan answered with a smile. “I didn’t know she was in town!”
“Oh yeah. She… uh… came down to see me.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I’ve just been busy…”
James lifted an eyebrow. “With what?”
I heaved a sigh, my fake smile faltering. “Thinking.”
“Dangerous.”
“I know…” I looked up at the pair of them, knowing this was the moment I’d been dreading for the past two days. “I… I’m going back home with her when she leaves. And… Well, I’m gonna sell the cabin.”
Silence.
Both of their smiles were wiped away in an instant and I felt like the biggest asshole on the face of the planet. I tried to find something to say, something to reassure them. But all the preparation I’d done for this moment slipped away as soon as I met their gazes. There wasnothingI could say to make this moment better or easier. It would just have to be uncomfortable even though that was the last thing I wanted.
“Y-You… You’releaving?” Rowan asked at last, the hurt in his voice all too obvious. “After everything you’ve done to restart your life… you’re just gonna leave?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, no longer trying to pretend like this wasn’t difficult. “I… I think I have to.”
“Why?”
“Rowan… I don’t want to talk about–”
“WHY?!” he barked, causing me to startle. James put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away. “Is it because I told you that you can be rude sometimes? Are you leaving because of me?”
“Rowan! You’re my best friend! I would never leave because of you.”
“Then why are you going?!” he shouted, his voice shaking as tears came to the corners of his eyes. “You’ve been telling me for years that you havenothingback in that city! I was so relieved that you came out here so I could be near you again and now you’re just gonna leave? After all those declarations or yours about starting a new life here with us?!”
Whatever I’d been expecting, Rowan’s reaction was a hundred times stronger. I’d anticipated some irritation and even disbelief. But outright anger and hurt? Those weren’t the kind of reactions I usually got out of Rowan. In fact, out of everyone I knew, he was the most difficult to make emotional. So why was he losing it so much? Had he really gotten his hopes up that far that we’d be close again like we were in college?
“Just tell me why you’re leaving,” he said after a moment of my silence. “Give me one good reason and I’ll forgive you.”
I glanced at James, hoping for help. But he just shook his head.
“Don’t look at me,” he said. “Answer your best friend.”
Another sigh.
“You’re going to fight me if I tell you,” I said at last, my voice meek. “But I’ve already made up my mind.”
“So, I’m just supposed to accept this and never get an explanation? Is that it?” He pointed back toward the house. “I bought this house to be close to your cabin! Even if you weren’t living here full time, I knew that when you did come to visit, you’d be close by! And now you’re gonna sell it and fuck off forever?”
I felt the cold sting of rain as the first drop struck my shoulder.
