Page 53 of Otter Heart
“I’m not sure what to say, Adam,” she replied honestly. “Other than if it was meant to be, it wouldn’t matter how you both started. It would only matter that you cared about each other now. And if he doesn’t feel the same as you… well, maybe it’s time to come home.”
Her words caught me by surprise and I looked up.
“You don’t have to,” she said, holding her hands up in mock defeat. “But you know you always have a room at my house. And there’s lots of jobs up there so you can get your life back on track. You don’t have to do the same thing or even work anywhere near your old company. Start a new life with people whoalreadycare for you. This small town… it’s wasted on you, honey. Especially if there’s not someone here to love you.”
I wanted to argue with her. I wanted to tell her that she was wrong and that everything around Hardwood Beach was amazing and incredible and could never be worse than moving back in with your mom in your thirties.
But I couldn’t.
“Maybe you’re right,” I said with a deep sigh. “I guessI could always sell the cabin. Who knows? Maybe it’ll sell for enough that I can spend some time figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life.” I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat. “I had some stupid notion to try to write a book but I’m not sure I feel much like it now.”
“Writing is a hard game. It might be easier to go back to school if you want to try a new career.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I’ll figure it out when I get to it.” I took a deep breath, rubbing my face in a vain attempt to distract myself from all the big emotions I was feeling. “I need to let Rowan and James know I’m leaving. I promised to help them move into their new house in a couple days. After that I’ll go home with you when you leave.”
Mom reached across the table, pulling me into a hug.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out, honey,” she said. “But I’m glad to have you home. Don’t lose faith in love just yet. It’ll find you when you least expect it, I promise.”
“Right…”
Chapter Twenty-Three: Mateo
Something was off. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Call it a sixth… well fifth sense I guess, but something was wrong between me and Adam. Our text conversation yesterday morning. His responses had been sort of clipped and while I’d usually brush that off with most anyone else, when it came to him, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I’d done my best to ignore it. At this point I’d convinced myself that the reason he was acting weird was because I was getting too close. He couldtellI liked him as more than just a friend or a fake boyfriend. Maybe I gave it away in my expressions without realizing it. Or maybe I’d said something that tipped him off. Either way, I was fairly certain the jig was up.
So why was he pulling away from me? Maybe it was stupid, but I’d hoped that if I went out of my way to give him everything he’d asked me for, he’d see the care I’d provided and come to realize I was worth more than just a fake relationship. I mean, everyone liked a partner that listened and cared for them, right? Was Adam not that way?
However, I had gotten after him about doing things for me. It was a moment I’d come to regret. Yes, I needed to speak my mind because my independence was important to me. But maybe I could’ve done it in a gentler way. Clearly what I said hadbothered him. And now he was barely talking to me. After over two weeks of nearly constant dates, I found myself spending two whole days alone with no plans for the future made either. Adam wasn’t just catching his breath, he wasavoidingme.
I’d already tried being caring and attentive. And I’d even tried acting sort of aloof to the whole situation in the hopes that absence might make his heart grow fonder toward me. However, neither of those things had produced any results. Maybe it was time to try a new approach.
Taking my phone out of my pocket, I clicked on the talk-to-text and began to write.
Me: Hey babe. Just wanted to see what you’re up to tonight? I’m taking Bessie to the vet this afternoon, but I’m free later if you want to just hang out, get dinner, or watch a movie. I feel like we need to talk anyway. There’s some things I’d like to say to you.
That last part had me shaking just a little bit as I pulled the phone away from my mouth. The words feltobvious, like I was giving it all away without saying anything. He’d know the moment he read them that I was falling for him. Hell, who was I kidding? I’d already fallen for him. I did that the night he described the sunset to me in such vivid detail. I felt like I could see his soul in that moment, and it was everything I’d ever wanted.
Summoning up all my courage, I hit the send button, allowing my words out into the world for good or for bad. However, with my fingers crossed, I hoped for the better.
I sat there in rapt attention for a few minutes, waiting for my phone to ding with his reply. My heart was racing as I thought of what it would be like to say those three little words to him at last. He was the guy for me, the one I’d been waiting for. I just knew it. But I wouldn’t force him into anything he wasn’t ready for. I hoped that if I could be honest with him about my feelings, maybe he’d finally realize that he liked me too.
I felt childish and giddy, but better than ever at the sametime.
Then a minute passed.
And another.
By the time ten long minutes had rolled by, my giddy energy had morphed into pure anxiety. Adam was never far from his phone and short of being in the shower, there was no reason he wouldn’t have answered by now. Not when healwaysanswered within literal seconds.
That didn’t bode well.
However, I did my best to shake it off. Even if I sat around for the rest of the day obsessing over it, my phone wasn’t going to chime any faster. No, it was best to pass the time by keeping myself busy. And getting Bessie ready for the vet would take plenty of time. She needed a bath anyway.
With a sigh, I tucked my phone into my back pocket and called Bessie over to me. She wasn’t the craziest about getting baths, but she put up with them, nonetheless. If she’d been just a pet andnothad an entire mortgage’s worth of training, she might have given me a hard time. But being that she was very well trained, she merely huffed at me and stepped into the tub at my behest.
I made sure the water was just the right temperature before I sprayed her down. After that it was no small task to soap up her entire golden retriever body. Not only was she hairy, but she had she been putting on a considerable amount of weight. In fact, that was the reason I was happy her bi-annual checkup was today. I wanted to talk to the vet about her sudden need to run off and the excess weight. She was eating well and getting plenty of exercise. Up until now that was enough. I’d already given her a good once over myself and she didn’t feel lumpy or anything. But I was worried there could be something wrong despite her energy being at a normal level.
