Page 43 of Otter Heart
But why did I feel that way? It wasn’t the sex, I’d donethat before. I supposed it might be because I hadn’t had sex in so long, but that didn’t seem right either. Every time I thought about it, all I came back to was the warmth of Adam’s skin, the citrus smell of his hair, and the heart rhythmically beating in his chest. Those simple things made me happy in a way I didn’t understand.
Well, maybe I did understand them. But I wasn’t willing to admit what that feeling might be just yet. I couldn’t admit them anyway. Not when I knew Adam didn’t think about me in that way. What we had was temporary, regardless of the feelings it evoked.
So, I might as well enjoy it while I could.
I wrapped my arms tighter around Adam’s chest, pulling him against me with a squeeze.
“Doing okay?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, a smile still in his voice. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
Another sigh. “About what I’m gonna do with my life.” The smile faded from his voice. “You know, when all this is finally over.”
Those words made my heart hurt in a way that should have been illegal.
“Well,” I replied, trying to sound more cheerful than I suddenly felt. “What do you want to do with your life?”
He scoffed. “That’s like asking a high schooler what they want to be when they grow up. There’s too many options and not enough information.”
“Well, what makes you happy?”
Adam turned his head to look at me. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Ouch.”
“What?”
“That… was probably one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard.”
“What do you mean?” He seemed suddenly irritated. “Living a life and making money have nothing to do with beinghappy. Believe me, I worked in HR. There’s no such thing as a happy employee. Just delusional ones.”
“So don’t go work anywhere.”
“What would I do then? The cabin doesn’t have a mortgage, but my savings won’t last forever.” He sighed, turning back to the water. “And I don’t want to go back to HR or the finance world. I can’t stand walking through the building every day and seeing all their fake smiles covering up the fact that they had to talk themselves down off a ledge over the weekend.”
“Jesus.”
“Sorry,” Adam muttered, pulling his knees to his chest and leaning away from me. “I just… I hate that place.”
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him back against me. “Well, you don’t have to go back, okay? You can do anything you want. The world is your oyster.”
“What else am I qualified for? I’ve held the same job since college.”
“You could start an Only Fans account,” I grinned.
The sound of his lips parting into a bemused smile was priceless.
“I couldn’t do that,” he laughed, shaking his head.
“Why not? You’re a damn good bottom. And you’re gorgeous. I think people would pay good money to see you perform.”
I could feel his skin flush with heat, but he didn’t reply. He was looking for somerealadvice.
“Why don’t you write a book for something?”
“What?” he laughed. “Why would I do that?”
