Page 48 of Falling for Nicole
“You fucking asked for this, remember that,” he warns before slamming the door behind us and throwing me down on the bed.
Declan
The look in her eyes as she sang that song is something I’m pretty sure I’m never going to forget. Nicole’s always seemed so strong. Even as a child she appeared unbreakable. It was another reason why I teased her so relentlessly—I knew she could take it and would probably give back as good as she got. Even at her mum’s funeral she was solid, admirably so. But tonight, she showed her true feelings. She’s scared and vulnerable. It was instantly obvious to me that she’s been putting a brave face on everything, and I accepted it. I naively assumed that she was okay. I believed her façade.
I pull her down onto my chest after she’s ridden me to orgasm. I intended to talk to her about that song and everything she’s been through, but the second she started fucking dancing, I was a goner. I couldn’t focus on anything but getting inside her. The way her hips moved as she sang words that had my dick throbbing for her. Fuck me. There was plenty of time for talking afterwards.
Her red hair falls over my arm and tickles down my side as her panting breaths caress my chest where her head’s resting on my pec. I run my hand down her side and don’t miss the goosebumps that erupt across her skin at my touch. I always knew this fiery redhead had a temper, but I never imagined she’d be just as feisty in bed.
Putting my lustful thoughts aside, I concentrate on what I really need to talk to her about.
“I believed you, you know.” My words make her look up and her big green eyes plead with me not to go there. “I bought your act. I thought you were fine. I realise that I’ve totally underestimated everything you went through.”
“Dec, please,” she begs, her eyes starting to fill with tears.
“No, we need to talk about it.Youneed to talk about it, because I have a feeling you’ve been bottling all this up for a long time.” I desperately want to cave, say okay and roll her over for another round, but I know that won’t do either of us any good. “Tell me what it was like.”
She lets out a long breath as she thinks. “You remember watching Lilly give birth?” I nod, because that is something I’ll never forget. “She was in so much pain but she was about to bring these two amazing little people into the world, and all would be forgotten. Now imagine watching the person you love most in the world in that same pain, but knowing there’s no happy ending. The only way for the pain to go is for them to no longer be here.”
I swallow down a huge lump in my throat as Nicole’s tears drop onto my chest. “I’m so sorry.” I’m not really sure what else to say.
“For what? It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It just was what it was.”
“Saying that doesn’t make it any easier though, does it?”
She shakes her head. “I miss her, Dec. So fucking much.” I pull her close as she sobs against my chest. I run my hand up and down her back, vowing to hold her for as long as she needs to start putting herself back together again. Properly.
When she eventually looks up at me again, her eyes are red and tired. My heart aches for her and everything she’s trying to deal with, I wish I could take it all away.
“Dec?”
“Yeah?” I ask, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear.
“I really want some ice cream.”
“Have you got any?”
“I haven’t even got a freezer.”
Realising she’s really asking me to go to the shop, I gently slide her from my chest and get out of bed. She pouts but when I mention that when I get back in it’ll be with a tub of her favourite ice cream, she perks up a little.
I hate leaving her when she’s upset, but if ice cream will make her smile, ice cream it is. Thankfully there’s an off licence a couple of streets over; they don’t have much choice but I’m sure what I buy will go down fine. I’m not gone much longer than fifteen minutes after running there and back, but when I round the corner into Nicole’s bedroom, I come to a halt when I see her still naked body laid out on the bed, fast asleep.
Still holding the tub of ice cream and the two spoons I grabbed on the way up, I stand and take her in. She’s on her front, exposing the smooth skin of her back. I run my eyes from her hair falling over one shoulder, over her pale skin and down to her slim waist. Leaning back against the doorframe, every part of my body is calling for me to strip back down and join her, to feel that smooth skin against mine. But my brain is telling me something else. It’s telling me to run, because I’m beginning to feel more than I should for my childhood enemy. It’s starting to drag up things that I locked down long ago. Thoughts like how I’ve now realised that I never actually hated her, and the devastation I felt but couldn’t voice when she left all those years ago. I grit my teeth as I fight to put those thoughts back where they belong.
I take one long last look at her sleeping peacefully before I turn and walk out of her house. Surfing is usually my go to when I need to think and get away from it all, but it’s the middle of the night and I’ve got a few hours until sunrise yet. So as soon as I get home, I go for the next best thing. I drag my bike out of the garage and set off along the coastal path.
I make it back home just as the sun starts to tint the sky a warm orange. I only feel marginally better about everything, so after parking my bike, I grab the van and go straight to the shop before grabbing my board and hitting the waves.
The surf’s not great this morning, so after attempting a couple of waves, I end up sitting on my board and bobbing with the tide as thoughts of Nicole continue to circle through my mind.
I’m exhausted when I get home and hoping to grab a few hours’ kip before I go to the shack. I’m surprised to see the French doors to the garden open when I walk into the kitchen.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised when a blonde head pokes around the corner. She’s been calling and texting me relentlessly for days. I know I shouldn’t have ignored her, but I also know she’s going to ask me all the questions I’ve been trying to avoid answering myself.
“Morning, Lilly. Tea?”
“Sure, I’ll have another.”
