Page 47 of Falling for Nicole
Shaking my head, I bat away those thoughts and concentrate on what he’s asking me to do.
After handing me a glass full of amber liquid, I watch as he sits in the closest chair to me and rests back as he waits for the show to start. I neck the drink, my palms sweating and my hands shaking against the mic stand as I try to drag up as much courage as I can.
Closing my eyes, all I see is her. Mum sat right in front of me with a smile on her face, waiting to hear my voice. She never made a secret of how much she loved to hear me sing, and I know she had visions of me living out the dream she never achieved after getting pregnant with me so young. Mum was incredibly talented; not only with her voice but also with almost any instrument you gave her. I’ve no doubt my abilities come from her. I know I should be grateful, but right now, doing this brings back so much pain that I almost want to hate her for it. She’s taken away something I loved so much. My release, my escape from reality has gone. Gone along with her.
I let out a slow, shaky breath, and suddenly words start to fall from my lips. They’re probably too quiet for even Dec to hear in this silent and empty bar, but I don’t care because they mean everything to me.
The longer I sing, the more confident I begin to sound as the lyrics from Damien Rice’sCannon Ballfill the space around me.
All the bullshit from the last few years disappears, and suddenly I’m up on stage in our local pub singing my heart out for Mum, who’s sat centre stage as always, and the locals who are all lapping up my words. She mouths every single word along with me.
Then, I make a huge mistake.
I open my eyes.
She’s gone.
Replaced by a very concerned looking Dec. My words slowly come to a stop and I wipe away tears I didn’t know had fallen.
A panic like I’ve never felt before knots my stomach. I’ve worked so hard to show everyone that I’m okay, that I’ve dealt with everything, but I fear I’ve just shattered that illusion—for Dec, at least.
My shaking hand reaches back and I grab my phone. I pull up a playlist and quickly scroll for something, anything that will change the tone of this evening and make Dec forget about what he just witnessed. I know my time is short; he’s going to say something any second. He’s going to question me, and I’m going to break.
Hitting play on Rihanna’sRude Boy, I turn it up loud.
Declan’s eyes instantly light up, his concern replaced by heat. I’m not stupid enough to think it isn’t temporary.
I move my hips in time with the music and I watch Dec’s gaze as it drops from my eyes down to my body.
When I start singing, his focus is back on my face, and thank fuck, because I get to witness what the words do to him. His usually bright blue eyes darken until they almost look black from this distance. His lips press into a thin line and I can see a muscle in his neck pulsate as his body tenses.
I put more effort into my dancing than I do the words, and use the mic stand as a prop to roll my hips against.
I don’t think I get halfway through the song before Dec’s striding towards me with determination. My stomach clenches at the look of promise on his face. I’m pretty sure he’s about to put the words I just sang to him into action.
“You’re a fucking tease,” he whispers before he wraps one hand around my ponytail and tugs my head so it’s at the right angle to slam his lips down on mine.
I hear the crash of the mic stand as it goes down before I slam back against the wall. His kiss is wet and dirty as he thrusts his hips into my stomach, showing me what I’ve done to him. I take everything he’s got, glad to be able to focus on it rather than the emotions that were running through my body only minutes ago.
“We need to leave before I fuck you up against this wall for everyone to see.”
It’s a pretty empty threat because it’s dark out and hardly anyone comes down here this time of night, so it doesn’t deter me that much from allowing it to happen.
Dec is obviously serious because he pulls his lips from my neck and takes a giant step back.
“Fuck,” he groans, running his hands through his hair as if he’s in pain. My nipples are pebbled against the fabric of my bra, so I’ve no doubt he can see them. “We need to get out of here now. Bailey,” he calls, and I instantly hear his claws on the wooden floor.
I’m still in a daze, but somehow Dec has managed to get Bailey on his lead and shut everything down for the night. With Bailey and his keys in one hand, he grabs one of mine in the other and pulls me towards the front doors.
“Have you got your car?”
“No, we walked.”
“Okay, get in,” he demands when we walk up to his van behind the shack.
The short drive home is terrifying; anyone would think Dec’s desperate to get somewhere. He throws the van around the corners and then comes to a screeching halt outside my house.
The second we’re inside, he lifts me up and throws me over his shoulder before marching me up the stairs.
