Page 33 of Come Apart
I hug her back.
She's right.
I can't push her and not myself.
"I... I just keep wondering if I missed warning signs, you know?" I admit. "She seemed completely fine when I saw her, but...she tried to kill herself again."
She wasn't okay.
"She probably tried to hide it from you," Alyssa points out carefully.
I nod.
"Maybe." I feel... lost. "I should go. I have to help her."
"Luke... it's midnight."
"So?"
She looks away, out the window, as the blackness engulfs the front yard.
It's so silent, I can hear every inhale and exhale. I can hear my heart beat. I can hear the wind rustling the rosebushes.
Alyssa bites her lip.
"Do you have to go tonight?" she asks. "Maybe you can go in the morning? The hospital won't let you in this late."
She hugs herself.
Alyssa needs me too, though she won't say it.
I know how nervous she is with her show premiering.
My chest is heavy and my throat is tight.
"What if she's alone when she wakes up?"
Alyssa shakes her head.
"She's in the safest place she could be—the hospital. But if you feel like you need to be there... you need to be there." She sighs, rubbing her face. "But don't pretend this is just about what she needs."
"What?" I draw back. "What is that supposed to mean?"
She meets my eyes head on.
"If you want to go to her, fine. She's your friend and you guys have been through a lot together. I can't say I fully understand your relationship, but I trust you. However, don't pretend that this is only about what Samantha needs."
"What else could it be about?" I demand, frowning.
What is she implying?
She doesn't back down. "It's also about whatyouneed." She taps my chest to emphasize the point. "You need her to need you."
Is that what she thinks?
"No," I say, shaking my head. "It's not like that at all."
She raises her brows at me.
