Page 34 of Come Apart
"Not at all?"
"She needs me. It's not about how I feel. Fuck—do you really think I'm that messed up?" "Maybe you don't realize it," she says, searching my face. "But you like that she needs you."
How can Alyssa say that? I thought she understood.
Samantha is my friend.
Yeah, it feels good to be there for her. It feels good to bring a smile to her face.
But that's normal. That's friendship.
Friends help each other.
"Forget it," she adds on the heels of that bomb. "This isn't the time to talk about that."
"It's never the time to talk about anything with you."
It pops out before I even think about it.
She grips my arms.
"Then start." She shakes me a little. "Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me why you need to rush to see your ex—the ex who cheated on you, who left you, who made it very clear she wanted nothing to do with you."
"She just tried to kill her fucking self!" I step back. "I really don't think this is the time to hold her indiscretions against her."
She winces in acknowledgment.
"Maybe. But do you even want to be there?" she pushes, not backing down.
"It doesn't matter what I want." Irritation pricks at me. "She's my friend. I have to—I want to—help her."
"Alright." She tilts her head, considering me. "And what if Ihadto flee to a suicidal Ryan's side?"
My jaw clenches.
"That's not a fair comparison."
"Why not?" she challenges.
"Samantha and I are friends. We have a history—a long one."
"Fuck your history," she mutters. She uncurls her body and pushes herself up. "I've known Ryan since I was fourteen. We have history. If I'm not allowed to be his friend—or even talk to him without you getting jealous—don't you think running off to your suicidal ex in the middle of the night is a little hypocritical?"
I shake my head, unsure how to deal with this.
How the hell did this turn into a conversation about that asshole once again?
"Do you even want to be friends with Ryan?"
That sets her back on her heels a little.
"Maybe... he was an important person to me."
"But he's such an asshole."
She sighs, picks her top off the floor, and pulls it over her head.
"I don't think Samantha is a shining example of a perfect person either."
