Page 74 of Come Apart
It was over in the blink of an eye. No one got a chance to say goodbye.
I had my issues with him, but he was still my father, even after everything he'd done.
It was a devastating blow on top of a horrifying revelation.
I never got any real closure. I was to angry to even talk to him.
And Samantha... she was heartbroken.
I should have done something to help her. Gotten her into therapy at least.
But I did nothing. I ignored her.
I was too angry at him, at them, at the whole fucking world.
She sank into depression.
I registered that she was unhappy, but it was a distant realization.
I was dealing with my own emotional turmoil.
Then she swallowed my bottle of sleeping pills.
My prescription was on the bedside table for weeks. A crutch that I needed more than ever.
I never thought...
I didn't know she'd prefer death to living with the shame of her dirty secret becoming public, the pain of losing the lover who didn't even want her.
A few weeks after Edward's death, she was in the ER having her stomach pumped, a suicide note tucked under the bottle.
I'd promised to help her.
But I wasn't strong enough. I tried so hard to forgive her, to be there for her, to hold her when she cried... but I couldn't.
I knew she was crying over Edward.
She was crying because he didn't love her.
She was crying because he was gone.
I couldn't comfort her.
Hell, I couldn't even comfort myself.
He was my father. An asshole, but still my father, and I was supposed to be comforting her about it?
But...
If I had been there for her the way she needed me...
Maybe she wouldn't have done it.
I failed her then. I can't fail her again.
* * *
Samantha's parentslive in the richest city in the San Diego area.
