Page 112 of Come Apart
She pushes off the couch and moves towards the window.
"I trust you," she says. "But there's no way she only wants to be your friend. Not with this kind of attitude."
I push off the couch. "It's only a house."
Alyssa turns back to me for a minute. "Was it only a house when you offered me your spare room?"
"No."
"So it's only a house when you want to give it up to Samantha?"
I shake my head.
"No."
Alyssa takes a sharp breath. "Listen, Luke, I really, really don't want to devalue your feelings. You have every right to feel guilty, even though it wasn't your fault. But are you going to keep bending over backwards for her just because you feel like you still owe her? Even after what she did to you?"
"She was there for me when I needed her."
"Does that mean you're in debt to her forever?" she asks.
I frown, scrubbing my hands through my hair.
"No. We're friends. I want to help her."
"Yes, and having friends is great. And it's normal for friends tosometimesbe weird or needy. And it's also normal for her tosometimesask too much or demand too much attention. But it happens constantly."
"We're normal friends."
I don't even believe myself.
Alyssa shakes her head. "You're not normal. I'm not going to be able to be patient if you're going to bullshit me."
"I'd never bullshit you."
She looks away, her hands curling into tight balls. "Things are so hard right now. Meetings, and press, and the show premiering. I need to feel like you're on my team."
"I am."
"What if you had to choose between us?"
"Ally—"
"No, just hypothetically. Gun to your head—would you rather be her friend or my boyfriend?"
"That's ridiculous."
"Still. Which would you choose?"
"Ally—"
She shakes her head. "I should go."
"I would choose you. I would choose you no matter what."
Her eyes connect with mine. She's upset, but she blinks it away. "I want to be supportive, but I can't watch you bend over backwards for someone who doesn't care the same way for you."
I know Samantha and I aren't normal friends. I know she's more than willing to take advantage of my generosity. But I help her because I want to help her. And I'm considering letting her buy out my half of the house because it could be the best option for both of us.
