If she were here, she'd be staring at me with raw desire. And I could press her against the wall and rip off her clothes.
Fuck. This distance is killing me.
She takes a nervous breath. "I'll call you back in five minutes. Don't even consider starting without me."
"Starting what?"
"Mr. Lawrence, I know you aren't that naive."
Alyssa is finally trying to talk to me. I shouldn't ruin that with sex, but my body is not cooperating.
I can see her in that apartment, slipping her dress off her shoulders, sliding her fingers over her curvy thighs. I can see her eyes pressing closed, her teeth sinking into her lips, her back arching. She's moaning, squirming on the bed, digging her toes into the sheets.
I tighten my fists. No. Net yet. I won't let my body get the best of me, no matter how damn good it would feel to come with her.
It's not happening until we finish this conversation.
My phone rings.
I pick up, about to say hey, when she speaks. "Are you alone?"
I could lie, tell her my assistant is here, that I'm not ready yet. But my body won't allow such a thing. It needs some possibility of this ending with her moaning in my ear.
"Yes."
She takes a shallow breath. "And you're... God, this is still weird."
"Ally, maybe we should talk first."
It pops out almost without thought.
A startled pause at the other end.
"Okay."
"You're scared," I start.
"I—yes."
My heart sinks. But I need to hear what's in her head.
She takes another deep breath."This is so much harder when you're not here."
"Pretend I am."
"It's not the same. It never is."
She's right. It's not the same. "Go to the bedroom and wrap your arms around a pillow like you're hugging me."
"That's ridiculous."
"Less ridiculous than what you'll be doing later."
A tiny sigh escapes her lips. Damn. I bet she's flushed and nervous, that adorable blush across her cheeks.
"Don't give me ideas," she warns. There are some noises from the phone, movement or something. Maybe she's actually hugging that pillow. "Alright—here it goes," she mutters. "You get so excited about these things. About an engagement and a wedding. It feels like I'd crush you if I told you things aren't perfect."
"I need to know how you feel, Ally. Keeping it to yourself isn't doing me any favors."