Page 80 of Come to Me
The restof the day goes more smoothly. I move through my usual routine--coffee, breakfast, TV, gym, shower, work--pushing any doubts as far down as they will go.
I'm not the same stupid girl I was a year ago. I'm not about to let these nagging thoughts ruin what I have with Luke. He acts as if he's got all the patience in the world, but there's something in the way he sighs, in how dull his eyes seem when I dodge questions with a "can we talk about this later."
He's losing patience with me. I can feel it.
The theater is almost empty when I arrive. I'm early. Very early.
But almost isn't completely empty.
"Hey, Alyssa. You're early."
Nicholas.
I turn to him, pasting a smile on my face.
"Hi. Yeah, got done with an errand early."
He stops in front of me, his eyes sharp as they scan my face.
"Are you okay?"
I shove my hair off my face, nodding as I take a step back.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
His eyes go to my hand.
Shit.
He frowns, meeting my eyes again.
He doesn't offer a congratulations.
Apparently, I'm not actually that great an actress.
"I'm here to talk if you need me."
"I...thanks."
I nod, turning away and almost running from that conversation, from his sympathetic eyes.
Damn it.
I lock myself in my dressing room and bury myself in my Kindle. A breezy chick lit should get my mind off this. Should convince me that there's nothing to be worried about.
After all, I already have everything I could want. I have a career. I have a fiancé. I even have a great fucking shoe collection.
My life is perfect. It should feel perfect.
But my heart is pounding in my chest. My lungs are tight, refusing to expand to make way for air.
I will myself to relax. There's only an hour until my performance. Only one hour I have to get through until I'm someone else, somewhere else.
Until I'm anything except Alyssa.
I turn off my phone and collapse on the couch. My eyes drift closed. Someone will wake me up when they arrive. Knock on my door. Something to make sure I don't sleep through my damn performance.
My muscles start to relax. Nothing matters except for the next few hours. Get through this performance, go home, and fall apart in my room, alone.
