Page 93 of The Baby Bargain
"Fuck, Ariel, I'm sorry."
"Thank you. But I don't want to talk about that right now."
I nodsure.
"She gave me the talk before she… She only hit a few points. Listen to my instincts—"
"Does that work?"
"Not usually, but that's why I'm here. There's something about you. My gut likes you."
I can't help but laugh. "Lucky me."
"Yeah." Her laugh is more nervous. "And also to follow my heart, even if it's not practical." She runs her thumb over my skin. Softly. Like she can't help but touch me. "And consent. I should never let a boy do anything I don't want him to do. I should say no if I don't like something, and yes if I do. And I shouldn't leave it all up to him. I should tell him what I want."
"Was that awkward?"
"Yeah." Her blush deepens. "My first homecoming dance, I met my date at school. And, right away, I told him: you can touch me here—"She places her hands on her hips. "And here." Then her waist. "And here." Then her shoulders. "During the slow song, if you want to kiss me, lean closer, and I'll kiss you."
"How'd he take it?"
"He laughed and stared at the ground a lot."
"Did he—"
"Touch me?" She swallows hard. "He was polite."
"Did he lean in?"
"Oh." Her laugh lights up her eyes. "No. But I respected that. He didn't want to kiss me."
"Or he was scared."
"And I wasn't?" Her chest spills into her tight tank top as she leans closer. "Mom underlined that too. I should make sure I get consent from boys. Because sex shouldn't be this thing where boys try to unlock girls' panties—"
"Did she say really say 'unlock girls' panties'?" I need to stop looking at her chest. I need to look her in the eyes. To feel this.
Or maybe that's all wrong. Maybe I need to stare at her round tits and her narrow waist and her lush hips. To make this base and dirty and nothing else.
It's not possible.
I can't fuck Ariel without feeling something.
I'm not sure I canfuckAriel at all.
No matter how dirty or rough or aggressive this gets, it's intimate.
I can take the emptiness that used to come with casual shit.
But the fullness that comes with—
Fuck.
"Your mom was a badass." I try to steer my thoughts to where they need to go. Anywhere but the lightness in my chest.
"She was. She liked you. She'd like you now." She leans back. Releases my arm. "So, I, uh… if you want to stop, that's okay. But I have to be honest. I don't read signals very well."
"You think?" I try to drop into teasing her. Get most of the way there.
