Page 162 of The Baby Bargain
"How about…" She moves to the sink. Refills her water. "Tell me. And I'll decide." She turns. Rests her ass against the counter.
Her posture screamsdon't come closer.
I want to. I want to hold her, kiss her, promise her it's going to be okay.
But it's not.
I can't lie to her.
"We met in art class, in high school. She thought I was annoying, that I tried too hard, and always let me know. She was bright, like a star, like the sun. She was big and loud and I fell in love with her right away." Those are good memories. They are. But I always wonder—when did it start? What signs did I miss? "We'd hang out at my place—"
"Or our place," she says.
I nodyeah. "When we were good, we were amazing. But our disagreements were explosive. I look back, and I can see where we were expecting too much of each other. We were asking for things that were impossible. I'd be jealous she was talking to another guy. She'd worry I was going to leave her. Beg me to stay. Then avoid me for weeks."
Ariel nods with understanding.
There's something in her eyes, something she isn't saying, but I press on anyway.
"She stayed here for school. I started apprenticing at Blacklist. When I made enough for my own place, I asked her to move in. We did. It was… I loved having her there. I loved that it was our place. That we could argue about which artists to hang and whether or not comic books belonged in the shelf." My chest warms at the memory of her climbing into my lap, insisting we christen the couch. "I knew she was bipolar. She told me right away. I could tell when she was hypomanic or depressed. I rode those highs with her. I was there. At least, I thought I was. I thought she could tell me anything. I didn't always take it well, but… I guess she couldn't."
Ariel's shoulders tense.
Her fingers grip the counter for dear life.
It's not like before. Something is different. Wrong.
"She promised she'd tell me if she was ever thinking about hurting herself." I swallow hard. "I worried sometimes, but I thought she meant it. I thought we were okay. She'd been pulling away for a while. She did that sometimes. I tried to bring her back, but it only made her pull harder. Then…" My chest gets heavy. "I got home from work one day and she was there, in our bed, not moving, barely breathing. There was a note. An apology about being an inconvenience."
It's all over Ariel's face.
She needs to flee.
She needs to save herself.
"It was like time had stopped, but it was moving fast too. I called nine-one-one. They brought her into the ICU. Pumped her stomach. Put her on a seventy-two-hour hold. Her parents found a better program for her." My eyes go to the image of her tattoo. "I visited her every weekend. I thought we were moving on together. But when she got out, she ended things."
"She broke up with you?" Ariel asks.
"Yeah. She said we weren't good for each other. That being with me wasn't good for her."
"Maybe it wasn't."
"It wasn't." I turn to Ariel. Try to face the dread in her eyes. "She bloomed after she left."
"Maybe it wasn't about you."
What?
"Chase, do you really think… do you really think you were responsible for your ex-girlfriend's mental health?"
"She's better without me."
"So?"
"Hunter's sober. My mom's finally trying. Everyone does better when I leave."
Her brow furrows. "You really believe that?"
