Page 405 of The First Time
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Blake's apartment feels different than it did last time. It's colder. Sparser. More utilitarian.
This might be the last time I see it.
Or him.
He presses the door closed and clicks the lock. "There are clothes in the spare room if you'd like to change."
"Clothes or my clothes?"
"Ashleigh picked them out for you."
"No. I'm okay in this." And I don't really want to wear the clothes his assistant picked out. That only reminds me about the all business nature of our arrangement.
"You hungry?"
"A little."
"I'll make something." He moves into the kitchen.
I wander around the sparse living room. This one, huge room must be a thousand square feet. God, this place must cost a fortune.
It's a lot to give up for a little thing like love, but there isn't a doubt in my mind.
Gorgeous apartments are nothing compared to that perfect, safe feeling of someone's arms around you.
Damn. I'm waxing poetic. But at least I know where I stand.
I won't accept anything less than Blake being madly in love with me.
I study every nook and cranny of the room. The plush leather couch. The wide TV. The big, clear windows that lead to the balcony.
The cherry bookshelf in the corner. It's packed with rows and rows of science fiction novels. I haven't read any of them, but I do recognize a few names.
The shelf on the bottom is different. It's packed with graphic novels straight off a best-of list:Blankets, Fun Home, Smile, Blue is the Warmest Color.
As Lizzy would say,boring girl stuff.
Exactly what I like to read.
"Those are for you." His voice flows into my ears.
I turn to face him. He's standing in the kitchen, pouring whiskey into a glass of ice.
I nod. "Thank you." My heart speeds up. They're books, not a declaration of love. But they're a lot.
He understands me.
He knows what I want.
He wants to make me happy.
Maybe he is capable of loving me.
Suddenly, my black dress feels awkward.
I'm not mourning this relationship. Not tonight. Not tomorrow.
