Page 404 of The First Time
He nods. "Of course."
"Here ya go." The waiter drops off our drinks. "Sugar's at the end of the table." He turns back and he's gone.
I take a long sip of my iced tea.
Blake may be softening. He may have affection for me. But that's not enough.
I'm going to be with someone who is madly, passionately in love with me. Not just someone who finds me pleasant company.
Blake stirs his black coffee. He takes a small sip. His eyes focus on me. "I promised Meryl something that first morning."
"Did you offer or did she ask?"
"She asked."
"Of course she did." A laugh escapes his lips. He shakes his head like he can't believe how ridiculous she was. "You don't have to honor it."
"You don't know what it is."
"Still."
"I want to." Deep breath. "I promised her to give you another chance. One date."
Something flashes on his face. Concern. He shifts back slightly. Wraps his fingers around his coffee. "I hope this doesn't count."
I shake my head. "Would be awfully tacky to do it the day of her funeral."
"She would have liked that."
"She would have liked it if I married you without a prenup, divorced you, and got half your shit."
He laughs again. A big laugh where his lips curl into a smile. He throws his head back. Slaps his hands against his thighs.
His laugh is still the best thing I've ever heard.
"No," Blake says. "She would have loved it."
"Did you tell her about our deal?"
"You did."
My chest tightens. How the hell does he know that?
"It's okay," he says. "In the end, it was for the best. She died thinking someone cared about me. That's what I wanted."
"Right. Of course." I bury my attention in my iced tea. Cared. I cared about him. If that's the story he wants to tell himself, fine. "What exactly did you tell her?"
He makes eye contact. "That I cared about you and wanted you to be happy."
There's that word again.Cared. God, what an ugly word. It's the worst word in the English language.
"Tomorrow," he says. "For our date. We can start in the morning." He watches me closely. "If your schedule permits."
That's another joke. I think. He's terrible with jokes, but I kind of love it.
I nod. "Tomorrow is perfect."
