Page 281 of Breaking the Rules

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"Ew."

"We'll probably have sex in here."

"Don't need to hear that."

"Against the wall," she adds.

"Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh. I can't hear you."

She laughs.

I do too.

It helps.

It pushes this further away.

Reminds me there's good in the world.

"Are you going to tell Hunter?" she asks.

I sit on the edge of the tub. Press my knees together. "I don't know. He… he shared stuff with me."

"Yeah?"

"He was scared about it. That I'd think of him differently."

"Did you?"

"Yeah. But in a good way. I understood him more."

She sits next to me. Places her hand next to mine. "It feels good, letting someone in."

"Yeah. When you told me about all that stuff last year… I was hurt at first. That you didn't think I'd accept that."

"I know."

"But that was my fault. Not yours."

"I did keep my relationship with your brother a secret."

"Yeah. But even so… It was never about me. I needed to see that. I just…"

"You're not sure he will?"

"Maybe." That's part of it. Guys can get really defensive. And I love that. I love the idea that Hunter would punch the asshole who hurt me. That he'd do anything to protect me. But—"I don't want him to see me differently."

"Why would he?"

"He's going to think I'm a victim."

"Do you?"

"No… I don't know…" Sometimes. But I hate that word. I hate the sympathy and vulnerability that come with it. I hate everything about it.

"You get to define who you are, Em."

"Yeah, but I can't control what he thinks."

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