Page 45 of Ghosted in Arkadia
“Umm,” Killian says, drawing the word out as if he needs more time. “Sure. Yeah, you can come over.”
“Great.” I force enthusiasm. “Just text me your address and I’ll be over.”
“Did you want to come over right now?”
“Oh! No. Not now. You can wake up and clean up or whatever you want or need to do in the morning.” If only the embarrassment running through me could bury me. I needed to get my shit together and act fucking normal. “Just text me when you’re ready for me. I have nothing going on today.”
“Hey, princess, you sure everything is alright? You don’t sound yourself.”
I sigh. Of course I don’t sound like the old me. I’m not even sure who I am anymore. “Everything’s fine. I just got up too early and hit the coffeepot hard.”
Killian chuckles, the sound floating through the speaker of my phone and helping to calm some of my nerves. “Why don’t you take a run around the block? I’ll get around and send you my address.”
“I’m sure Rex will love a run.”
Silence stretches, neither of us seeming to know how best to end the call.
“I’ll see you in a bit, princess.”
“Bye,” I say quickly before ending the call. That exchange should not have been so difficult.
Maybe I really should take Rex on a run around the block before I go over to Killian’s. Just to get my head screwed back on straight. I need to remember who I am, or at least who I was, before someone ends up figuring out my secret.
“You could have brought Rex. I have a fenced-in yard,” Killian says as I take a seat on his couch.
“He was tired after the run.”
Killian isn’t wearing his sunglasses, and the sight of his empty socket is hard to miss. I’ve gotten used to looking at my reflection while talking to him. Part of me is glad that he feels comfortable enough around me to not need the glasses. I force my gaze to the walls, trying not to come across as rude.
His house is laid out the same as mine, down to the color of paint on the walls. The door to his bedroom is shut. Has he even bothered to personalize that space?
Killian nods and I clasp my hands in my lap. I’m not sure how to get this conversation started, other than jumping in.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said when we went to lunch. About what really happened to Katherine?”
Though subtle, Killian’s muscles stiffen and his jaw clenches. “What would you like to know, princess?”
“What does it feel like?”
“What does what feel like?” His arms cross his chest as he looks down at me.
“What does it feel like to have a soulmate?”
“Oh.” Killian relaxes slightly. For a moment, he looks far away, lost inside his memories. “It’s hard to put into words.”
“You were so quick to tell me that what I have is a gift, yet having a soulmate makes you and everyone else I’ve ever known with one, speechless. I hope you can understand my confusion.” My tone comes out bitchy, perfectly disguised.
Killian sighs. I can see the truth simmering just beneath the surface. He’s lying. Being with a soulmate is a mind-blowing experience. No part of a mateless life compares. The downside isnothaving your soulmate. Learning how to live without them after losing them.
It’s enough to drive someone mad.
My gaze shifts to the hole in Killian’s head where his eye should be.
“Fine,” Killian says, pacing the room like a caged tiger in a zoo. “You really want to know what it’s like?”
“I’m just trying to understand this ‘gift’ you say I have. I’m not stupid, Killian. I’ve watched mated couples my whole life. I’ve been an outcast in society since I was a teen. Just give me the truth and I can put the pieces together on my own.”
Killian stops moving. His eye focuses on me like he knows my secret. “It’s worse than a drug. At first, all you can think about is how good you feel. How perfect everything is. With them. Your body feels alive. Hell, even food seems to taste better.”
