Page 46 of Ghosted in Arkadia
I swallow hard, feeling the lump in my throat as Killian’s stare bores into me.
“Then the withdrawal creeps in. You want to spend every moment together. Waking and asleep. You don’t want delicious food or breath-taking sunsets. You want them. And you only want them.” Killian’s upper lip curls and he turns away from me. “Every moment they aren’t with you, all you feel is nagging worry. Your worst nightmares run like a carousel through your mind, driving you insane.”
My heart hammers in my chest, picking up pace as the acidic words tumble from Killian’s lips. I hadn’t gotten to that stage yet, but the conviction in his tone told me I would, whether I was ready for it or not.
“Then one day, the nightmare comes true.” Killian turns to face me again, his tone dropping low. “Even if it’s old age. Oneday, one of you wakes up cold and alone. Your drug ripped away. Then you’re just a shell.” Silence stretches for a moment. “That’s what it feels like to have a soulmate, princess.”
I can’t find words, and my throat feels dry and scratchy. “I guess you could call it a gift to dodge that bullet,” I manage.
Killian nods sharply, his chest heaving with deep steadying breaths. For a moment, I saw the man who had shot himself after finding his soulmate dead in the bathtub. The part of him that woke up pissed that he only lost an eye for his efforts.
“You should write articles for theMateless Times.” I wager a small smirk. “That’s exactly the survivor story we all need to read while taking a shit.”
Killian shoots me a glare, which only makes my smile grow wider. We are momentarily locked in a standoff before Killian folds under the pressure of dark humor. His lips tilt into a crooked smile, erasing years from his face.
“I’ll be sure to get my submission in before the next print runs.”
“I demand a signed copy,” I say. “It will sit in a prized location next to the plunger.”
That comment finishes Killian, and a chuckle of laughter bursts from his lips. The dense air that had surrounded us vanishes, though Killian’s haunted words still swim inside my mind as a stark reminder.
Ghost is always going to be a problem. And I was always damned no matter what I chose.
I need to talk to you.
The letters sink into my arm, and I wait with fluttering nerves for a response. My phone rings a moment later, a call from an unknown number. It’s him.
“Hello?”
“Hello, kitten,” He purrs, sending my body into overdrive.
Heat blossoms between my thighs as though I’ve been reduced to an animal in heat. My desire for him is primal. Uncontrollable. Undeniable. My nipples are hard again. Wanton hussies.
I can hear him breathing, slow and even. Patiently waiting for me to tell him what it is I need so badly.
To say I need him.
“This isn’t going to work, is it?” I say, though my trembling voice betrays my nerves.
The rhythm of his breath catches for a moment, the pattern changing as he remains silent.
“We aren’t going to be able to continue on like this,” I say, gathering every shred of courage I can find. “I’m living a lie, Ghost. One that’s bound to catch up to me. I’m already in too deep when it comes to you. I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you want, kitten?”
I think back to the moment he asked me this same question through text. It wasn’t even that long ago, yet it feels like a lifetime has passed. “I belong with you. We were made for each other. There’s no escaping that. But I have a few ends to tie up.”
“Mmmm,” he purrs through the line, “I like the idea of you tied up.”
A renewed rush of heat travels through my body.
“I just.” I pause, trying to gather the thoughts he so masterfully scattered. “I need.”
“Tell me what you need, kitten.”
I huff. “I need to finish things out with Bill Roman. If I can.” The words rush out of me. Honest. True. Necessary. “It feels likethe last notch I need on my police officer belt before I move on to the unknown with you.”
The line goes silent. I can’t even hear him breathing anymore.
